Would his drug use stop us having children?
By Agony Aunt | November 6, 2008
Me and my fiance have been driving for a baby for a couple of months hes had 2 kids previously, ive never had kids as im quite young.
My fiance used to do drugs but stopped taking them about 3 months ago. I don’t know wether its me or him who can’t have kids? Please help what should I do? I just want a baby to make mine and my fiance’s life complete.
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3 Responses to “Would his drug use stop us having children?”
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Before you think about having babies, you need to make sure your fiance really HAS kicked his drug habit. Remember how many drug users go back to the habit and be careful. Imagine how awful it would be raising children in an unsafe environment with drugs. You should wait at least a year with him off drugs before you try to have kids, to make sure he really HAS stopped using& can offer you and your kids a safe& healthy environment.
If you want to check whether there are any medical problems preventing pregnancy, then both you and he need to see a doctor. He would also have to explain about his drug usage to see if that is playing a part.
Also, many healthy fertile couples take up to a year to get pregnant and you haven’t been trying that long. What really concerns me is that you’re spending time trying to conceive when - for your own peace of mind- you should be making sure he’s off drugs and you should spend time together making sure you’re happy & compatible & ready emotionally & financially before you decide to have kids.
I can tell you from experience that kids are a BIG responsibility. They need care 24/7 especially when they’re young and - contrary to popular opinion- they DON’T make a relationship better. They can often put an extra strain even on a good relationship because they DO require so much time and effort.
Wouldn’t it make greater sense to focus on having a good relationship with your fiance? Making sure he’s truthful about having stopped drugs? Waiting a year to make sure he’s off them& you’re emotionally ready for kids& still together a year from now? And to marry before you try for kids so you have a more stable environment in which to raise them. Also drug taking is a serious offence and you should find out why your fiance chose that path so he isn’t tempted to go that way again. It would be awful if you got pregnant& he started using& you had to leave him& be a single mother. That really is very very hard.
You came to this site for honest helpful advice. I hope you’ll take it.
I hope the advice I gave helped you. You can find me anytime at anonymousletters.net I am an agony aunt who answers help letters for free. I like helping people and don’t like to see others in pain.
Look up EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on Google. This method can help build self-esteem& help your fiance stay off drugs.