I got divorced after 7 years, 15 years in total of being with my x husband. He put me and my now partner through hell. He dragged both of us through the courts for which we nearly split up over. Even so, we moved house and worked at getting though the problems left behind us.
I have been with my partner for 9 years, engaged for 4 and have made arrangements to get married on Dec this year. Occasionally through our relationship my partner will have a “paddy” do something and blame it on me and stop talking to me for a few days, last time he had a paddy over me telling him that I was fed up with his strops. He moved into the spare room and didn’t talk to me for a week. I ended up making the first move to fix things.
On Sunday of this week he asked me a silly question and I said it was a silly question and he replied well then, you do it on your own and walked off. I left him for an hour or so to cool of, but was greeted by two other friends who said that he was to be avoided as he was in foul mood shouting at the dog and throwing stuff around!. I went and found him and asked if he was ok as two friends had heard his shouting and wondered if all was well, he called a liar and said that he has only spoken to one person about his feelings and I asked him to come inside and talk he refused. I told him firmly that he has started this argument and I had come back and tried to put it to bed and he was refusing and that he should grow up and forget whatever it was that he had done, he shouted at me and said that it was not what he had done but what I had done. Again I asked him to come inside – he refused. When he went inside I followed him, closed he door and stood infront of it and told him that I was not going to move until he spoke to me he just ignored me and I carried on telling him I was fed up that he took every thing out on me, his problems at work, me being made redundant and the frustrations and loosing a competition and that he needed to grow up fast. He threatened me that if I thought that in the past he made me hurt he would make me hurt even more this time as it will be more than a week he doesn’t talk to me for. And he hasn’t spoken to me since Sunday afternoon, he has started to sleep on the sofa and quite honestly I am torn. I want to leave him but I love him. I feel that he has no respect for me, constantly tells me I am a liar and feel as though he has no respect for me. I don’t know what to do.. please help
Filed under Marriage Advice by 
Please could you possibly help me as I do’t know how to hande this.
My boyfriend has recently lost his job and is finding it difficult to find another one. money is slowly running out and he is worried but he keeps taking it out on me and whilst this is upsetting at the best of times im 27 weeks pregnant and cant cope. im being shouted at, insulted, blamed for everything and arguments are just awful. I dont have to do very much wrong and the abuse starts.
I love him very much but ervyery time he is like this a part of me dies inside for him. there was once a time when he thougth i was special and now its just all my fault.
what can i do?? shall i leave him or do i stay….i dont know
Filed under Relationship Advice by
abou 1 year ago, i started going on msn a lot more after my dad bought me a laptop. I talked to people a lot more, and straight after school, i would spend only half and hour on homework, and hours on msn. I started talking to a friend of a friend, and we started to date. I met him fonce at the top of my road. My dad caught me, and got so angry he started hitting me and started throwing things, and he crushed my laptop- that is how angry he was. things got so out of hand my sister called the police, and he was taken to prison for the night, and was not allowed to see us for 2 weeks. He went into severe depression while he was away, and was found on the floor crying with a suicide note. Thankfully he did not harm himself.
as a family, we have moved on from that awful experience, but i cant forgive myself.
I stopped using msn, hardly ever going on the internet and i felt guilty all the time.
1 year later,my dad noticed this im sure, and as sign to show we had moved on, he bought me a computer. Recently i have been taking it slowly and using the internet more and more, but i never go on msn because I feel too guilty. But as i use the computer more and more, i can tell my dad is getting more wary of me.
i really dont know what to do. Should i stop using the computer? i know that i should move on from that experience, and i should socialize more and go back to how i used to. But i really cant. That experience has changed me for the worse and i cant get over it. Any advice?
thank you for this website. even if you cant offer me any advice, typing my story has helped me.
Filed under Teenage Agony Aunt Letters by
I’ve been with my boyfriend for around 18 months now. I never thought I’d meet someone who made me as happy as he did and we made such a great couple with so much in common. We moved in together a few months ago (I moved a few hundred miles to be with him) and I have been under a lot of pressure with my job since we have lived together. Last week he told me that he has felt differently since we had a huge argument last months. I was devastated as he did not share this with me. He said my mood swings were unbearable and he felt like I was a different person. He said that he still loves me and we are trying to work things out. I am due to start a new job which will take a lot of pressure off me and I think that things would have improved drastically anyway but since we had our talk I have been making much more of an effort to not snap at him or cause arguments.
The problem is that even though he is talking about the future and keeps saying that he feels as though he has got his old girlfriend back, I still feel uneasy. I cry every day and have horrible dreams every night about our relationship ending. I feel tortured. I am paranoid all the time if he doesn’t answer when I call him and think he is going to finish our relationship every night when I get home. Although he is saying the right words I just have a bad gut feeling. My feelings may be right but I may also be paranoid. The fact he has felt differently and I did not pick up on it makes me feel like I’ve had the carpet pulled from under my feet. I just feel so low and don’t know what to say or do. I am too scared to talk to him about it because he indicates that everything is back to normal between us but I don’t fell normal. I feel like our relationship has shifted and I don’t know if it can go back!
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