Should I stop using the computer
abou 1 year ago, i started going on msn a lot more after my dad bought me a laptop. I talked to people a lot more, and straight after school, i would spend only half and hour on homework, and hours on msn. I started talking to a friend of a friend, and we started to date. I met him fonce at the top of my road. My dad caught me, and got so angry he started hitting me and started throwing things, and he crushed my laptop- that is how angry he was. things got so out of hand my sister called the police, and he was taken to prison for the night, and was not allowed to see us for 2 weeks. He went into severe depression while he was away, and was found on the floor crying with a suicide note. Thankfully he did not harm himself.
as a family, we have moved on from that awful experience, but i cant forgive myself.
I stopped using msn, hardly ever going on the internet and i felt guilty all the time.
1 year later,my dad noticed this im sure, and as sign to show we had moved on, he bought me a computer. Recently i have been taking it slowly and using the internet more and more, but i never go on msn because I feel too guilty. But as i use the computer more and more, i can tell my dad is getting more wary of me.
i really dont know what to do. Should i stop using the computer? i know that i should move on from that experience, and i should socialize more and go back to how i used to. But i really cant. That experience has changed me for the worse and i cant get over it. Any advice?
thank you for this website. even if you cant offer me any advice, typing my story has helped me.
Filed under Teenage Agony Aunt Letters by Agony Aunt
Comments on Should I stop using the computer »
I admire the fact you stopped using the computer for so long& did the right thing by not chatting to strangers on msn, therefore regaining your dad’s trust& confidence.
I do have to say that even though I understand your dad’s fears for you, his reaction was way overboard and you’re not entirely responsible for his behaviour.
You SHOULD have behaved more responsibly. But teenagers DO get carried away& he should have handled things in a calmer more mature fashion.
Having said that, it’s important that you learn from your mistakes. You don’t want to cause another rift in the family.
Try to limit computer time to say one hour a day. Set an alarm to know when the hour is up and then force yourself to get out and walk, or do homework, visit friends, or read a book.
The more time you spend on school work & the more time you devote to family, friends, and hobbies- the less time you will spend on the computer. Also stay away from msn and don’t chat to strangers; it’s not safe. Pls don’t put yr parents through more needless worry.
There’ll be plenty of time to chat in a few years when you’re older& wiser. Even then it’s better to be safe and only chat with people you know well or have met first or can be vouched for by others you trust (someone through work, a friend of yr family, etc).
It would also be a good idea to have a chat with your dad& thank him for the computer. Tell him you’re glad he trusts you again& you’ll try to spend less time on it so he doesn’t worry. Assure him you’re not chatting to anyone, that you learned your lesson, and that his friendship is important to you. Then MEAN it and KEEP your word.
This is hard but it’s a test of character. I know you can do it. Good luck.
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You have approached the situation with great maturity – you went through a lot after last time and you’ve certainly made some difficult choices along the way but you shouldn’t have to stop socialising online by any means. Aslong as you get the work/play balance right, and make sure that you don’t meet up randomly with strangers without anyone knowing before hand, then you will have an easier time than before. It’s ont a crime to chat to your friends online, but always tell an adult if you want to go and meet up with someone you’ve met online. Your dad underneath, was obviously very worried about the situation. Show him it won’t happen again by keeping him posted on what you’re doing online.
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I’m holding back from unleashing a large amount of rage.
Your father was very immature and you should not have been punished like that. He shouldn’t be so controlling!
I spend HOURS upon HOURS on the computer and yes my mom gets pretty angry with me but not once has she smashed my computer or needed to be dragged off to jail. She’ll simply disconnect the internet or take my laptop away for a few days.
Your father is unruly and controlling because he didn’t want you to talking to a guy. I would understand if it was a complete stranger but it was a friend of a friend and I’m sure nothing bad would have come from it.
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your father is a dangerous stupid man. use the internet as much as you like but maybe you should shut it away from yourself when you have homework to do
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hi i want just to say that
whatever our parents behave we should see it a funny thing
give them the needed respect
and surely they will feel better
and no longer oblige you to stop any thing
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