My Ex announced she still loves me
By Agony Aunt | October 20, 2008
I have been married for 22 years in total, we have a son together who is now nearly 18.The relationship was always quite turbulant and we attended Relate on three seperate ocassions. 8 years ago we split, although have always keeped in touch mainly because of our son. In this time apart we seemed to get on better and I asked on at least 7/8 different ocassions for us to get back together and give things another try, each time I was rejected.
Recently I unexpectedly got an Email from an ex girlfriend and started a relationship with her and become very fond of her, we have slept together and still have lots in common and she has been really good for me. I thought it best to explain this relationship to my wife and when I did she broke down and declared her undying Love for me.
She says she wants me back and will do anything to save our relationship, she can’t bear to think of me with someone else and she and our son need me there. She also said that she had a 9 month relationship
5years ago when we had been apart for around 3 years but finished it when he wanted her to commit and she said she couldn’t because she still Loved me, but didn’t tell me that.
I’m having trouble with the fact that she has said nothing for 8 years untill the night I say I’m seeing someone else and then decides to tell me she has felt this way for at least 5 years. It doesn’t ring true to me, although she is trying really hard to show her affection I feel used and also a little angry and confused. it would be the easy option as she is still in our marital home and my son is still there too. My Ex is 130 miles away in a council house with a 14 year old daughter and a 10 year old son.I feel I have an obligation to my wife and son to give it another try but at the same time am not sure I can give 100% to her now as I feel something has been destroyed in the 8 years apart and I have really strong feelings for the girlfriend from my past.
Topics: Marriage Advice |
2 Responses to “My Ex announced she still loves me”
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It’s obvious that it’s not meant to be with your wife. You’ve tried counseling many times& it simply hasn’t worked. Now, you’ve found out she’s been dishonest with you. I advise you to end the marriage. I appreciate it’s hard as you have a son together but a child is not a good enough reason to stay together I’m afraid. The marriage is between the two of you, and since you can’t put your heart into it, ending it is the only option. You can still be a good dad to your son even if you don’t live with him. As things stand, your marriage is over even if you continue to live with your wife. Don’t stay in this ‘emotional divorce’ as it can be shattering.
As for your ex girlfriend she may or may not be the answer. You need to end the marriage first so you’re not being unfaithful to your wife (regardless of her past actions two wrongs don’t make a right, then you need time alone to think about your life before starting another relationship. I wish you all the best.
I hope the advice I gave helped you. You can find me anytime at my website: anonymousletters.net
I am an agony aunt who answers help letters for free. I like helping people and don’t like to see others in pain.