Im 15 and im 19 weeks pregnant

I’m sorry you’re going through this tough situation with no support- but pls try to be realistic here. Since the baby’s father is gone& yr parents are going to kick you out, there’s NO way you can have this baby& keep it. Not unless you want yourself AND the poor baby to suffer. How will you feed your baby? How will you- an inexperienced 15 yr old look after it? You’re still a child yourself. How will you find a job at your age with no qualifications? Will you leave school? If you find work, who will look after your baby? Your parents want nothing more to do with you& though their stance is harsh, you have to be realistic. You won’t be able to afford a baby-sitter& at your age, you’re unlikely to have any friends willing to baby-sit on a daily basis. How will you and your baby eat& survive?!

Pls THINK. If your parents absolutely won’t keep you with a baby then you MUST have an abortion immediately before it’s too late. The only other option is to have the baby and give it up for adoption IF your parents agree.

If you truly love this baby, you WON’T condemn him or her to living life on the streets without help with a 15 yr old. Pls don’t wait any longer. You’re too young, inexperienced, and completely without resources to raise a child. There’ll be plenty of time for kids when you’re much older& married in the future.

Pls don’t wait any longer. Talk to your parents or anyone sympathetic (a friend’s parent or teacher) for help for going about a safe abortion and go for it ASAP. Don’t wait till it’s too late and you’re on the streets, afraid, hungry, alone, with a child, and nowhere to go. You can go to women’s groups for assistance or to shelters- but if you really love this child that’s not the way you’ll want to raise him or her. So, pls don’t be selfish and think of this innocent baby before you think of yourself. Would you really want him or her to be subjected to a hard lonely life with you?

Think & take my advice before it’s too late. If I thought your parents would respond, I would suggest you have a sympathetic adult (like a teacher or friend’s parent) talk to them but – from what you say in your letter- it’s highly unlikely they’ll change their minds. So pls get help and have an abortion ASAP. It’s the only realistic option in your case.

I hope my advice helped you. For further advice, pls visit my website:
anonymousletters.net

I’m a caring agony aunt always here to help.

Look up EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on Google or under EFT section on siouxhealer.co.uk This is a great method for building confidence to help you make the right decisions and do what you need to do to help yourself.

that does not make sence love.
your 19 weeks pregnant, your boyfrind passed away a few years ago, does not work out really does it unless you got another man after your boyfriend passed away.
(:

sorry to add to your worries but..
if your only 19 weeks preg, and your boyfriend was taken a few years ago… and the baby wont have a father..
how would the boyfriend get you pregnant if he was gone a few years ago, and your only 19 weeks pregnant, it doesn’t make sense!

I know this sounds too simple to be helpful but you have to do what you want to do. You want the baby; it’s your body. You have every right to keep your baby. Whether your family stick by your initial decision or not, is up to them. You are capable of great things; there are structures in place to help single parents and you will meet somebody else oneday, I’m sure, who will be able to act as a father for the child. You aren’t alone in this.

i think the poor child meant ‘weeks’ and not ‘years ‘.i mean she is just 15 and quite miserable.

hope you take the aunt’s advise wisely.and think thrice before you get knocked up again.Good luck.

Lisa, I think your advice is disgusting. You say you’re a caring agony aunt and yet you are trying to terrify this poor kid into having an abortion. You are not giving her an unbiased opinion on her options, you are just saying ‘kill it, kill it now, listen to me and do it quick’. Clearly she wants to keep it, how is murdering her child going to help her emotional needs?

And which country do you live in exactly, I am greatly suprised it has internet access. Have you never heard of social services? Or council housing? How about benefits? Do you really think she would be allowed to walk the streets, starving, with a baby in a rag on her hip? Are you insane?

Honey, I’m aware this advice is a little late, but I’ll say to you and to any young girl reading this in your situation that you need to think very carefully before you decide on an abortion. There are council services that provide housing, benefits and childcare for people in situaton. They will provide a safe home, councilling and advice to anyone expecting mother. Secondary schools and colleges in every city provide free day care centres while the mother studies. If you don’t believe open your local phone book and phone the council advice line, it will be shown on the first page, otherwise search your local council online. They will tell you the type of care that is available. Don’t ever think you are going to be ‘on the streets, afraid, hungry, alone, with a child, and nowhere to go’.

Apart from that, you will have to think of what you will face, everyday, for the rest of your life, if you have an abortion. Every year on that childs birthday you will have to look at yourself in the mirror and know what should of been. If you really don’t feel you can raise a child, then adoption is a viable option. Give it to a family who is desperate for a child, who will love it and adore it and thank God everyday for the gift they have been given.

If you believe you are old enough to have sex then you should be old enough to take responsibility for your actions. Abortion may seem like the easy way out, but if something seems to good to be true it probably is.

At the end of the day you will have to live with whatever decision you make. It may seem like abortion is the only choice, but if you want to keep your child then don’t let anyone force you to kill it. At 19 weeks, the baby is fully formed. It has hair, fingernails and a heartbeat. It is a person – dont forget that.

Good luck whatever you decide to do,
Cat x

Lisa is right, but so is natalie and jordan, If the boyfriend did die a few years ago and was the father, How onearth are you only 19 weeks pregnant. The bes tthing for you is to get an abortion. Because you have no help, probally no money, and no where to go. sort yourslef out.

im sure the years thing is just a spelling mistake or summin
you have evry right to keep your baby and do what your heart is telling you
your parents do not have a right to make you chose between your baby and them
there are many differet things out there to help you, it may e tough to start with but it will be ok in the end
you should try and sit down with your parents and explain to them how you feel and if nithing comes out of that find out how you and your child can live happily.
good luck

i’m sure your parents won’t kick you out I myself had a baby at your age and my boyfriend ran he wasen’t killed he told me he wanted nothing to do with it, my parents reacted quite badly telling me that they were going to kick me out and werent going to support me but when Liam was born they were very helpful they helped me out whenever they could and when I turned 17 they helped me rent and move into my new home they are now helping me out by babysitting whilst I go to work and can go back to night classes twice a week to get qualified

you are a horrible horrible person how could you incourage a 15 year old girl to have an abortion I myself had a child at her age and I kept him and my life turned out fine I now have my own home and a stable job just because a father isin’t in her babies life doesen’t mean she is goin to throw her life away, I never had a father and like I said I turned out fine and my son Liam has everything he needs and wants. If you were the one offering me advice and told me to abort the baby I would spit in your face how dare you call yourself a agony aunt when you are giving young vunerables girls inhumane advice

I am so sorry for your difficulties, and for your loss, this must be very difficult for you.
I hope you can receive some support from these messages.
I would advise you to think very carefully… this is your life and your decision, however, think of your future, do you want a career? GCSE’s? do you think that you can live in a council house with no income? Is that the life you and your child deserve?
Talk to your parents…if you really want to have the baby and not an abortion then that is your decision just make sure it was made out of consideration not the thought of a cute baby you can play with…it won’t be like that. Would you consider adoption? You can still have the child, a future and a good life for him/her… there is even a possibility of an open adoption, you can still see the baby whenever appropraite but you can continue with your studies and stay at home…how would you feel about that? the best of both worlds? Another thought is keep the baby, talk to your parents…about your future and your child…they cannot throw you out, at 15 you are there obligation and your child also, it is not right for them to be willing to leave you in a dingy flat…
think before you make your decision, consider the options, if your parents are involved in the decision making process they may feel more willing and generous…:
Your future
Your childs future
A dingy flat
An abortion
An open adoption
Keeping him/her
Talking to your parents
Good luck and please let us know how it went… your life your decision just make it with careful consideration and advice.
I wish you all the best, I realise this must be a scary time for you but it will get better, stay strong.

1st of all im sure there was an error with the years thing…

secondly i DO NOT agree with Lisa’s advice at all…

and lastly i am sorry for your loss… You’ve already lost one person and you dont need to loose any more… you have every right to keep your child. it is natural for your parents to be angry as this probably came as a shock to them..when you are angry you sometimes say thigs you do not mean…they agreed to have you untill the babies born so there is a possibility that they will change their minds after the baby arrives.

however if worse comes to worse its not the end of the world… it is nice to have family to help but if it does not work out this way there is help you can get elsewhere. the council will place you in a mothers and babies unit where all advice will be available… you wont be the 1st or the last so ther is still hope..it can be done.
wishing you all the best…gd luck

LISA if that is the advice you are giving then i suggest you keep it to yourself!!!!

wtf u stupid twat why the hell are u trying to make her give up or kill her baby even though she is young she still has feelings too and you telling her to kill an unborn baby is goin to make her emtions rage!!! (this is too lisa btw)

How on earth can anyone think that abortion at 20 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY is the right thing for any child? At 20 weeks, the baby is nealy viable to survive if born, and the mother would have to go through labour and delivery to get the baby out after it had been killed. That advice is disgusting. Some of you clearly have NO IDEA what you are talking about. I do not think that it is on that any old person can walk on to this forum and offer their ‘advice’ as clearly it is ill advice coming from people who have no clue about what they are talking about. Disgusting is all I can say.

you have every right to keep your child there are others out there that will help you

aunties , uncles, grandparents, siblings, friends.

if you want the baby that is one thing
you wil find a way to help your baby.

i think it is awful that your parents will kick you out, it is the most irresponsible thing to do .

ask them whether they will help you when the baby is born.

x write back please (L)

OMG i feel so sorry 4 yhu.x My mate she got pregnant at 16 she had 2 staii in a hostle. Dere r places dat will help yhu b a great teen mum help yhu wiv yhur financies and put a roof ovver yhur head maybe by the end of yhur 9 monthsyhur parent wont have da heart to kick yhu and yhur baybee out .x i dont kno wat else 2 saii. hope yhu work sumink out.x

hope i helped.x

Nicole

I can’t believe Lisa has said to abort the baby. I had a baby at 14 and my mum and dad said to me the same thing that when the baby was born they would kick me out. I am now 17 and i am still living with my mum and dad. They changed their mind when they saw Chloe. I can’t believe that anyone would tell a 15 year old to abort her baby. That is wrong. That is heartless. Not being funny or anything but the baby will be fully formed by now. Also i think that it was “WEEKS” instead of “YEARS” so stop saying about this. Good Luck, and do what your heart says, im sure your parents will come round to this idea.

I’m so sorry for your boyfriends loss.
But okay your pregnant bit stupid but you can’t change the past when the babys born im sure when your mom and dad bond with the baby they won’t kick you out in future use protection x

Lisa your advice is HORRIBLE. How can you tell a 15 year old girl to murder her own child? Let me ask something:
If you got pregnant and someone told you to kill it and that it shouldn’t exist and that
basically you were a slut, would you take there advice? Don’t think so.

Think about peoples feelings next time you give stupid advice like that.

And to the girl, if your parents really care about you they will let you keep your baby. They only said they would kick you out because they were in shock.

hiya im 20years old i fell pregnant at 15 and had my baby at 16 i had abit of support from my parents but no money as they didn have any but i got no qualifications or job but i live in a 3bed house wich is privately rented. if you feel u can provide for your child then do it hun x x x

Okay, ive never been in a situation like this. But i don’t agree with abortion. Keep your baby, by now it is well on the way to being fully formed. If YOU want this baby then YOU have the baby. Don’t ever let anyone tell you any different. Just because your parents say they want nothing to do with you, doesnt mean they completly mean it. Show them that you are capable on your own anyway. Eventually they will realise that by losing you they lose their grandchild too. This is entially your decision, what ever you decided to do will be what you think is best. Good luck, for now and the future. Give that baby the life you truly feel it deserves.

whoever is saying to get an abortion is just horrid. its your choice there would be plenty of help out there if you decided to keep the baby.though it wouldnt be easy you’ve got to remember this is not just your life youre dealing with its the babys to. hope everything works out well for you whatever you choose xxx

Look If it was me I wouldnt get rid of the baby I would sit down with my mum and dad and talk to them about how imature their being they are putting too children out on the street. Talk to them about how they should think about you and the baby not just what you did. You must be so scared and I feel for you but the best thing is too talk to your mom and dad and tell them that their being silly. Tell them that you cant do this on your own andd that your mom had help from her mother and your father. Dont worry everything will work out in the end.

Good Luck Darling. xo

I don’t know where you live, but here in the UK teenage parents are very well cared for by the state both financially and emotionally. We have social workers and mid wives and health visitors who all make up the team that can help you when parents and the usual supportive members are not around. I know so many mates who had children young and they have all done very well for themselves now, infact they have been netter off than childless girls becuase they got free housing and training and free childcare.

we have red your story and it is very sad were sorry for your loss and shore everythink will urn out ok in the end your son or daughter will be ok and the only person they will respect you you will be a great mum alot of perants have said this and they couldnt do that you will be fine, just do what you head tells you to do. and you will be on he right lines darling!! look after your self and stop worryin coz you baby will worry too good luck xxx

were both 15 ourselfs and our heart goes out to you, this is such a sad story, for a girl of your age having to going through this horrible desicion, were not going to give you advice on what you should do becuase your desicion affects you and you only, listen to yourself not those around you. i no it doesent seem like it but there are people out there willing to help you and our going through the same thing. your parents are just angry and the moment who owuldnet be i no for sure my mum would be, but there the people who bruaght you in this world and im sure they wouldent let there duaghter go through this on there own at the end day they love you and are just hurt. good luck im sure you will find sombody who will love you for whatever choices you make.

I totally realise how hard this is for you. If I was to become pregnant I would so want to keep it, the main reason being that I couldn’t bare to give it away! I do agree with Lisa in the sense that you and you’re baby will greatly suffer if you’re alone on the streets, but maybe you could adapt your life when you’ve been kicked out. Try and get into a Foster home or whatever they’re called, I’m sure the baby will still be allowed there. It would be quite sad too loose your Mum and Dad, siblings if you have them and friends but you need to think smartly here. The way I see it is that you have these options;
a) have an abortion and stay living with your Mum and Dad, personally I couldn’t stand to kill the baby and would hate anyone that made me, but it would also be better as your younger and such
b) put the baby up for adoption that way you can stay living with your parents and keep with your education. The bad points are that the baby might go to some one horrible and that you’ll have to give the baby away
c) keep the baby and live on the streets, which is the most ridiculous idea ever as the baby will die in like less than a month from lack of food, cold, etc.
d) try talking to a teacher or other close family member or a parent of a friend, maybe you could live with one of them or something

Well i don’t know as i’m only thirteen but i hope any of this helped, good luck! xxx

I agree with Cat, I think it’s outrageous that Lisa the so called ‘agony aunt’ is giving such awful advice. Forcing her into an abortion?! That’s ridiculous.
They’re are PLENTY of single mums out there who look after thier children.

I suggest you stay in the house, be polite to your parents. Do your best at school, untill the child is born.
As soon as the baby is born get intouch with social services, they will sort you out with a house. Apply for some sort of apprenticeship where you can study and work at the same time.
Set yourself up for life, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and your child.

Good luck

Hang on a sec, how can you be pregnant if the father got ran over a few years ago?

i know how you feel i got pregnant at 16 with no fella he left when he found out i had the baby shes nearly 8 now and i know for fact everything works out in the end ive got a cosy council house and got a part time job lifes what you make it. you might be young but im sure your a bright girl.my mum was the same with me kicking me out every week its hard but as i said it will work out in the end.so sorry what happend 2 your boyfriend im sure hes family would be delighted for you 2 have hes baby.

heya, lisa how stupid r u to give a 15 year old child advice that involves her having an abortion.hun u will be reli silly to do that and jst think 2 urself will u lyk it if u knew that ur mother even ad the taut of aborting you, hell no you woudlnt so y put the sweet innocent baby and your self through sooooooo much of pain.that little human growing inside you is innocent and doesnt deserve to be murdered so hun theres lots of ppl willing to help you eg: homes, hostels ect but as long as you and that child r alive and have each oda to b beside u. mwazzzz take care

Look on the bright side of life not the bad. Like the song – always look on the briiight side of life! My friend was 14 when she gave birth. My sister wat 16. We were a little bit cross when she told us. But talk to your mum, lots of hugs and kisses to show her that you really are sorry! Do you want to keep it? You know you dont have to. Im 14 and i really want to be an agony aunt when im older. I want to keep in touch with you, and help you as the precess goes on. Email me. Its my msn as well. How are you feeling about things now, at the moment?

Loves x Beth x.

Kerry is absaloutly right babe. Its wrong to kill another person. Like murder. And i promise you, you will prebley regret it for a while. Imaghen when your old about 20 and your child will around 4 and you will be so sweet together. It will be a really good true bound which not many people have with their mums, i should know. So good luck. Keep in contact yeah>x

My bestfriend has just went through exactly the smae thing.She got kicked out so my mum let her stay with us for a few weeks until she got put into care. she had the baby 2 months ago but he was taken off her. she was upst but they said once she is 16 or has somewhere of her own she can have him back.

hello
Once the baby is born maybe you should talk to the fathers parents and see if they would be intrested in helping you and there newly born granchild out …..
I am only 14 my self, however i feel that if your that young then you neew someone near the same age as you for a agony aunt.
try to talk to your mum and dad sepretley about the pregnancy.
Best of Luck
take care x x

Its stupid that lisa could say such a thing, I never trust people called lisa actually. Ask yourself, how much does this baby mean to you, would you like to see it happy with an adoptive family or happy with you? As long as you make your parents realise that its your baby and you will take full responcibility, they may calm down a bit. Think about your school options. Could you get a tutor to come to your house? Then later see if you can get night classes, that you can schedule around your baby. Also, this is emotionally harming you and you are clearly destressed. Maybe you could check out local groups that support and help young mothers or see if you can get a therapists help to help you with your worries. Also, you could try blogging. I personally recommend youtube videos, do enough and keep them interesting and be nice on camera, and people will love you and your story. the support you get back is amazing, its like you always have a shoulder to cry on. It’s helped many people through many problems, research online about being a young mother and getting help, read lots of baby books, ask other mothers for guidence. the best thing for YOU is finding support. My sister got pregnant at 15 and had an abortion, she was soon sectioned and broke down, only telling my dad then. Now her lifes back on track, but that will always stick with her, dont let it happen to you. always remember that somewhere in the world, somebody cares and wants to help you, never give up!

Don’t give up, honey. I just want to tell you that God loves you – regardless if you believe in him or not, I’ll be praying for you and that you will get through this. Your parents, although they are mad at you, still love you. If you can, try to talk to them about it.

If you need any help, approach some of your friends – if you don’t have friends, seek medical or governmental help.

Just remember that, even-though your struggling now, you’ll get through it I mean it

God bless you,
-Rose