I wanted to stay a virgin

Hi,

I feel so sorry for you about this situation. I know how it feels to have horrid thoughts about your partner doing somthing sexual with their ex.The only true advice I can give is sadly not an immediate fix.
The fact is that although you have no sexual past most people do male or female. You decided she was the one who you wanted to loose your verginity too and she should be so complimented. The truth is love is not just about sex. When you have the thoughts of her and her ex together, realise she is in your arms and kissing your lips and she wanted you! You her special someone and her past should make no difference in your future or your passed.
Tell her about your fears and insacurities if you feel that it will help you.
Just be proud that you unlike most kept your verginity for someone who you truly thought was the right one. Your instincts are worth listening to.
Good luck Buddy! from Anna

It can be hard when you are put into a situation like this. If you feel disgusted with her when you think about theese things then maybe you need to retink weatehr she is really the one you want to be with. Its entirely up to you.
It seems like she doesnt understand how much effort you put into waiting so you could have sex with the perfect woman. If she is always telling you about what she used to or maybe still does with her ex then shes just really trying to make you feel bad ad there may be an underlying cause as to why she wants you to no all this information in as much detail as you do.
My main advice is to have a decent long conersation not about who has and hasnt slept with who but about your relationship in general, and then you can figure out where the relatonship is going. You should both openly express how bad you are feeling and then maybe she would understand that you are hurt by some of the things she says.
Feel free to email me at anytime.
Hope I was of some help

First of all, you’re clearly not in the right kind of relationship for you. If you value chastity and were saving yours, you’re not with the right person.

Part of being a strong, individuated person is realising when differences are irreconcilable and moving on. I suggest this is what you do now and keep an eye out for someone who shares yours values and with whom you can be fully satisfied.

ok you need to move on hun, seriously the past is the past. Ok she has ex’s, but there is a reason that they are her ex’s and not her current boyfriend. She clearly feels comfortable enough to talk to you about her sexual past you should be pleasd she wants to confide in you. As for this feelings about cheating they mean nothing, you are just confused and want to seek any possible outcome that will help you get out of the situation. Be a man, talk and confide in her but remember the past is the past dont let it ruin the future.

hi.. i have the exact same problem with my boyfriend, im 18 he’s 19.
i saved myself for someone i cared about, and that person was him.
i saved myself because didn’t want to be another number on some guys list of conquests, another story to tell.

but after i slept with my now boyfriend he told me he had slept with alot of other girls, 15 to be precise. and he had not treated them well, they were purely just sex. a one night thing and thats it. just wanted to have sex with as many girls as possible.
it really upsets me, he doesnt realise how hurt i am. how much his past disgusts me.
he says he’s never loved anyone before but he loves me to bits.
he says he wanted to tell me the truth and be open with me, he didnt want to lie. but i feel like my saving myself has been destroyed, it means nothing now.
its always playing on my mind. i love him so much but all i ever think about is him with so many other girls

can someone please help.
please

She sounds shallow. I’m wondering if you are more keen on her than she is on you, as her attention is elsewhere, and in different areas of the relationship too, that’s made you take off, naturally. She seems to be having fun. But, you can’t just accuse some-one of this without finding out, and it maybe miscommunication on her part, without her realising how it is affecting her. A lot about relationships is detecting, analysing, solving, then communicating. What does she sacrifice for you, how long have you both been together to bond, what sort of a father has she had, viewing to how does she view men, how is she socially. Buy her a necklace, 10 bucks or so with a heart and note the way she reacts to you and how she treats the necklace. That’ll bethe way she’ll treat your heart.

Nobody can judge your relationship and say END IT NOW or anything because nobody has experienced your relationship and your feelings with this women,
I think you should try the things she tells you about her ex and see if you can reach that (hint) she is putting across maybe you will even enjoy it too!
If that doesnt help then have a chat with her, Speak deeply about your feelings and if she doesnt understand or approve then maybe she just isnt over her ex and it may be the end of the road for this relationship. You seem like a nice guy so maybe if she does understand you are going to leave her then she realises how great you are and how much you mean to her but then if she doesnt care then she is just the stupid one isnt she!
Good luck!

Keep in your mind she experienced all these before she met you. Why do you want to dig into what she’s been doing in her past? If she loves you now, and if what she did with her ex, or her ex is nothing to her now, then her love for you is pure. Don’t recall her past with her ex, don’t ever listen to that, or tell her not to mention him when talking with you. You will eventually forget her past.
Have wonderful relationship.!

heyy,
your girlfriends sex life is a thing of the past she proberley feels the same way as you shes proberley also to scared to approch you just sit her down and tell her straight if she cant except that then sorry babes but shes not the right girl for you good luck. xx
Jadeeeee x

if you love her you shouldn’t think of her past otherwwise its always going interfer, talk to her about these things as she ay regret this, you shouldnt hold this against her otherwise it may push her away. that was in the past and you are the present and hopefully the future.

Tell her you are not comftobale comparing you with her ex

It dont matter thats shes been doing it since the age of 18, because thats the legal age.
But I know it might disgust you, but be open with her, if your really truthful and honest with each other. youll discuss this problem and tell her it sometimes puts you off.
you two can work it out together and talk over about it.
and she loves you, everything will work out trust me.
but do what you think is best, you dont have t listen to me, jus tryna help :/ x

Im only 14 and Ive had similar feelings about my girlfriend . We havnt had sex yet but were planning to when were old enough . I know its worying and may put you off . But she is with you now . The past is the past and you have to look to your bright future with your girlfriend . If you talk to her im sure she is prob very embarased about what she did with her ex . But you both must put it behind you and enjoy your life with her . Also most people have had sex lots by that time and she has had sex with only one person . Last thing well done for saving your virginity for the right girl . Hope this helps

You think you have a normal relationship? REALLY? You have disdain for her, as she’s got a healthy sexual appetite and while in a relationship shared herself sexually. There are two mistakes made here… first she thought she could trust you and foolishly shared too much of her past. Lesson learned ladies, share as little as possible about your experience. No details, no blow-by-blow, no numbers… guys QUIT asking if you can’t handle it.

Second, you entered into a time wasting relationship with a woman who CLEARLY didn’t share your outlook on virginity. You need to break up with her and let her find someone mature enough for her. You, need to go find someone who shares your outlook, which may be a bit difficult the older you get – so GET ON WITH IT.

You are not the first guy who is feeling this way. Way down under every guy feels the same. Some may feel disgusted as you do and some are cool enough to let it be. On the bright side your girl is more experienced than you so she can show you some good moves. And i’m sure she can keep you happy atleast sexually.

I know how u feel, its hard knowing something like that but u have to think of it this way. Would u rather not know and then having to find out from someone else, believe me, thats not the way to go about it! ive been in a sort of similar situation and i have found it hard, until beleive it or not tonight i sorted it out! as you said, you and your girlfriend are in a healthy relationship, keep it healthy by telling her how your feeling! Hey, maybe she’ll be angry to start with, but she’ll get over it. But you, would have to stop living in her past, she cant change it and neither can you,.. I find the best thing is not to talk about your boy/girlfriends past sexual relationships! hope ive helped a bit.. and hope everything works out for the best

if you are happy and feel happy then stay together and enjoy your sex life but if there are frequent arguements then i would have time a part and see whats better.

i think you should do what is best for you, and go with what your heart says to be honest or if you dont feel right then tell her and talk to her
tell me how is goes babe bye bye xx

i know its hard, and its horrible thinking about it, i was in the same situation. and i told my partner blenty of times, obviously under the influence of alcohol. but he reasured me to say, im with you, i want to be with you, if i still liked and enjoyed the relationship with my ex, i would still be with her.
so dont think that your bad etc. she wants to be with you obviously otherwise she would still be with her ex wouldnt she?

cheer up, goodluck x

im sorry to say it but im afraid that feeling will never go. she has already given you the details and that isnt something you can easily forget. my advice is to ask her to stop comparing you with her ex’s and see if that helps. otherwise im afraid there is nothing you can do.