I want someone to love me for who I am

Dear 13,

Aren’t you a bit too young to decide about love?? Trust me.. you should be thinking of much more important things like studies and improving yourslf educationally. i was a teenager too… i too have been through this… and ten years down the line we always tend to regret what we’ve done.

Please dont let anybody mess around with you. Nobody except you has a hold on yourself…

You have to be strong and i know that you can be. Just believe in yourself. Everybody loves for a reason these days… even you may have a reason. Dont let people take advantage of you dear. You will eventually find the love of your life… it could take some time… but you got to be patient.

Go get busy. Take up some courses, do something creative. Do you like music, sports, dancing??? whatever… keep yourself occupied. And remember there is someone who loves you more than anyone else and will always love you for what you are… YOU, YOURSELF!!!

Love ya,
Take care…

i know how you feal i used to b in a thing like it. you shouldn’t do that sort of thing unless u love eachother. i no it’s fustratting but someone that really loves u will come along at some point.

I do know how she feels and good advice

Listen… im 17 and i know what its lyk thinking you don’t want to be used that way tell him you don’t want to be used for anything like that and you never will be. remember there is someone out there who will love you more then anyone and will always have respect for you because you don’t follow the crowd. the best thing you can do now is be yourself and follow your heart

good luck xx

Hey,
i know exactly how you feel.
i’m 13 aswell, 14 in about a month.
My best friend, who i’m very close to.. i’ve done stuff with him, and it hasn’t meant anything. But trust me, don’t do that lol. It’s reaally hard to try and not like them after you’ve done something. Loads of boys mess me around aswell :\. it’s noott a nice feeling lol. but you’ev just gotta go through with it :\ trust me it’ll get better haha
tbh.. im actually finding it quite scary how similar your situation is to mine haha
because the boy i did really like, who loved me too, lives in france . so i honestly know just how you feel with this lol.

but trust me, it’ll get better
xx

totally agree with the above comment…

your way too young to be thinking bout love right now you have your whole life ahead of you so just try to enjoy. boys aint nothing new and will be around all the time. never do something to please someone else you will only end up regreting it. before you can truely love someone else you have to learn to love your self and it is through this love that you will grow stronger. concentrate on your studies and future and when the time is right love will find you!
keep your head up and remain strong
take care…

hey,
im 16 and i know what you mean i also had the same problems. it doesnt matter at your age that u are sexually active or not,not everybody is. Try to think about what you want ,you shouldnt feel pressured to do anything because the boy should consider your feelings and the consequences that you will have to live with.
dont do something that you are not comftable with, especially at your age as you will have to live with it. if you know the boy well and have a good relationship then talk about this openly with him, this way you can have a mature convosation and find out what each of you wants from eachother.dont ruin your friendhip just remember to respect yourself and your body.
hope this advice helps x

theres this boy and i really likee him but hes been all thee way had sex’s and everything and i was out with him and his friends so i acted all cool and said oh yeh ivee been all thee way to but i havent ive only frenche kissed ! i meen im only 13 14 in september i dont no what to do cos if i do go out with him he will wont me to do stuff but i REALLY REALLY like him !

i agree us women will always find someone one day

you should go with your feeling’s

what mytra lorenze said! people spend long enough looking for someone to love you for who you are but the opportunities are too few and far between. Someone will come eventually, but being 13-14, GCSE’s are just around the corner. I’m 16 and still waiting but at the same time concentrating on getting the qualifications i need.
No one else should have the right to manipulate your life like a puppet on strings ONLY YOU!

no no no no no no no……………………….

enjoy life you’re too young for anything like that.
well done for being open and honest but you will regret it if you do.

SO WAIT PLEASE………………..

i had a similar experience so i know exactly how you feel.
the guy in question didn’t say there wouldnt be feelings involved but he did ask me to do loads of stuff. at first i really liked him but then the minute he asked to do stuff i felt sick it was hard i knew i genuinely didnt want to do stuff like what he was asking with him but i still liked him for how he was before.

judging by your letter the things he is asking you to do are not nice and when he says there will not be feelings involved it is clear he is intending to use you. i know alot of people say this in magazines and everything but you really do have to say no

i said to this guy i don’t want do the things , through text and he never asked me again and he asked some other girl. she did these things over webcam and it got all. over the school. after that happened i realised he was just using me.

boys who mess you around are just not worth your time . think about it when you have a long term boyfriend husband whatever who you really love, you are not goingto think woah when i fell in love with him he was seriously messing me around.

if a guy truly likes you they will respect you.

(L)

Heyy Sweety, you are not the one in the wrong and you shoudln’t feel bad about this, you need to keep your head up high and realise how this boy is treating you! If the only person you liked had moved away think of it this way, there are plently more fish in the sea and at your young age, i’m not surprised that the right one hasn;t come along yet. Don’t dwell on the bad things in life! you should be thinking about everything in your life that is good and focusing on things that will get you somewhere in life!
I hope this helps, and i hope everything gets sorted,
Hannah
x

Hi
You know…some people don’t understand how valuable yet fragile the human heart is. This boy who wants you to do things with him…I don’t think it is right for you to go any further with this guy. It’s understandable how you feel and I know exactly what is going through your mind, but at the end of the day he isn’t the one for you.

Some day you will meet that one guy who means the world to you, and you will mean the world to him as well. He will respect you for who you are and what you want, and will love you simply because it’s you. That guy is out there somewhere and he’s waiting for you.

As for this guy who is trying to get you to do things now…he’s not right for you. You shouldn’t be with him or do anything with him. You say about these other people who get messed around…well if you do things with this guy, you will be one of those people who gets messed around. He really isn’t right for you hun, and some day you will find the right guy who IS right for you. Just stay strong hun and don’t let him fool you…have patience. You really will regret it if you do things with this guy, I garauntee that.

Good luck hun

Hiya babe I think you should either ask your parents or mates for some advise. I know they can be anoying but they know a lit more than us! I was wondering if u could help me with my prblem?

I hav 2 best mates called Liam and Jamie. The other day I was asking Liam who he fancied and he said he kind of fancied me! I don’t know what to make of this because I think he only wants to be around me because he fancies me not because he wants to just be a bezzie. The other problem is I really like jamie and I don’t know what to do if Liam asks me out and I don’t want to ask jamie out because I’ll offend liam! Plz plz help me!!

If a guy says that theres no feelings involved what is their honesly if theres a lot of guys texting or calling him… wake up you are just being used and he’s just be pressured into something he may not know anything about and let alone the results. God loves you for who you are NOw try to find some one on this earth who does the same. even if it means dumping him their are better men that won’t use you, they may be hard to find but sister I know we’ll just have to look.

Hey I’m 17 I did stuff at your age with someone who I felt a loved so dearly, I now regret it more than anything I’ve done I wish I had have shown more respect to myself and to my body, wait until your in love and loved back, it’ll happen, don’t throw yourself away at some boy who is horrible enough to say he doesn’t have feelings for you, don’t hurt ypur self xxx

You do seem a bit young but if you are in love, thats all that matters.
This boy that has moved away- keep in touch with him and i know its hard, but maybe you could have a ‘long distance relationship’
It is very hard for you at the moment, explain to this boy he is letting you down and you don’t want to be used. Tell him you want to know if he has feelings for you. You are having a hard time and you should concentrate with school more than love.

if you respect yourself wiv all ur heart then u will always expect others to and decions in life wont be that hard but we make mistakes thats how we learn good luck xxx

I Hate it when a person makes out your too young to be in love or comments as if your young and stupid, No one knows What Your Going Through Except You & I tottally Agree Its Alot Harder If You Move To Fast And all Of A Sudden He Is Off With Someone Else, Talk To Him & Tell Him Your Worried About what This & If He Truly Loves You For You He Will Understand If Your Not Ready And Wait Because Only You Can Decide For Yourself..Just Dont Dive Head First In Believe Me iT Never Helps :/ ..x

Okayy lets start with this, for one if he says there might not be any feelings involved i wouldn’t do it. If you like him then go with how you feel but if that’s all he cares about then he sounds pretty sad to be honest. It’ll just make him a muppet

Well firstly don’t agree to it.
I know you like this boy but he only wants you for one thing darling. Don’t be stupid enough too agree with him as if it goes pear shaped you will be the one who will get called names when he gets cheered.
So think i was like you im gay i had sex at 14 with a boy who never liked me its not worth it have sex with someone you love and trust and use protection x

Dear 13,
I think that this boy that moved away mean’t alot to you and it is always hard to move on when some you love has moved away. If you really like this other guy then only you can make the right choice and if you do decide to go along with it and it does turn out to be a mistake you can always learn from it… Good luck kid! x

Dear 13
i tihnk your 2 young 2 be doing anything like this but if u feel u wnt 2 uu can but jus mke sure u no what ur gttin urself into

Hi there,

You must be feeling pretty rough right now huh?
But let me tell you, doing things with this guy is not gonna make you feel any better and I’m sure deep down you know it’s not right.

You deserve to be loved for who you really are but unfortunately this might require a bit of a wait. At the same time you are only 13/14 yoa. You have PLENTY of time to worry about love, the rest of your life even.. BELIEVE ME.

Your gonna be okay buddy.
Just hang in there and someday you’ll find a guy that made all of your waiting worth it.

Don’t do anything wait until your certain you want to, preferably when your older and with someone who cares.

I totally know how you feel, trust me xD

Well, i would tell you too just no do stuff with him, your clearly not in love with him and you should wait to do stuff with the right person for the right reasons, not just cause you want it,

i think that you should just go with your heart….do what you want to do and if that choice is ‘doing’ stuff with him them be carefull and if if you do go ‘all they way’ then use protection cause you don’t want to draw the short straw and get pregnant at 13!

Ok.. Ive just turned fourteen and trust me when you are with someone its the nicest feeling in the whole world abecause you feel wanted but when you are just wth someone too be there for messing around its not that nice, dont do it girl you have your whole too be making dissicions like that so honestly when your this age you can think that your in love because were still very inocent but really were not. dont worry yourself about this boy that wants too doo stuff with you. and if you do go ahead and do things with him then thats your decicion and noone can say otherwise but if your just doing it too please him then believe me its really not as special as when youve really met someone you really like and you do it with them. so dont rush into anything you feel uncomfortable with because your worth more than that.. take care.

At 13 your feelings will be all over the place. Dont do anything with this lad that involves anything sexual. Its under age for a start, plus in the future you will regret it.
You said you want someone to love you for who you are well this boy obviously doesnt care about you if hes telling you no feelings will be involved if you “do things” with him.
You will find that when you get older you meet many people in life and you will find someone whose just right for you at the right time

I wouldnt go out with him unless there were feelings its pointless if theres no feelings u will only get hurt maybe in time he’ll feel the same but untill then its pointless im 14 aswell been dating sence i was about 8-9 have been in alot of relationships been hurt alot of times myself btw im a guy o.o

im 15 and have been throo same thing i know how you feel you dont want to do thid beause i did and you start you realli like this person and they let you feeling down you want to find the right person to do stuff like this withh sorry to ere thiss but trust me you need to thikk the word NOOO at all times.

Doing anything with this guy is really not advisable.
i’ve noticed that nobody has mentioned the fact that your underage?
It also sounds as though your mentally not mature enough to engage in these act’s.
He’s proven that he has no feelings and his intentions are clear – Sex and sex only.
Hold tight, even if you dont meet the love of your life by the time your 20, if you continue to respect yourself and honour your morals you will definately find a person that will respect you immensely and care for you a great deal,
Love Sadie,x

13 and 14 is way to young to start with an intimate sexual Relationship. Dont make the Mistake My Mother Did (love her) had my sister at age 18 and me at 20. From Personal Experiance I’ve seen my little Brother get hurt from starting at a young age (him and his best mate were in-seperable and they both gave into the urge after learning about “Sex Education” in school they were 12, now my brother is 19 and he regrets the handfull of Time’s Him and his friend had Sex, As he may be My be my younger brother and he May Be Gay, I may not agree with at how young he started his sexual life, But he is my brother and i love him dearly. So Dont ruin your life at a young age like my brother did, I’m 22 he’s 19 and he always asks me for advice. I suggest to wait till your 18 or older. and find the right guy that accepts you for you and not just for the Sex

your a bit young for love. your 13 grow up would you. your a sad little chicld how shouldn’t be having sex at 13. you will get a name for your self.. nasty bit

Heyy Babe.
Don’t let him use you, hunny. That’s just wrong.
You’ll find someone one day, atm just relax and have fun. Being in a relationship really isnt all it’s cracked up to be, trust me.
Anyway good luck
xoxo

hi im 15 in november, the same thing happend with me about 2 months ago and he wanted me to go to his house in the holidays, but i told him that i dont want to be used, and i did want to do stuff with him, so i asked him to wait and you know if he really wants to do stuff with you becuase he will wait, but the boy isnt waiting for me, so i know what he really wanted !! lol, this collum has helped me alot to !! x thanksss
lurvee yahh x

Hii Chiick

im 15 and just been through the same situation,accept me and the lad was going out and we did have feelings between each other,we only talked about doing stuff about twice but allways have respect for yourself and him dont let anyone tell you what to do. and hayy your only 13/14 youve got the whole of your life infront of you.. dont let this boy take hold of you and try just to use and take advantage of you.. play the field with him tell him you have respect for yourself.

Hopes things turn out good

xxx

hey gurl…
i myselyf m 17…n iv been thru all d stuff uv mentioned…
i would tell u 2 not do anything stupid which may hamper ur future…coz these thigs….i mean wt u fell..arnt gonna matter after say 3 yrs or sumthin…
hormones jump at this tym…so not ur fault…give it sum tym…n go by ur instinct…..

Heis well using you girl. and stay friends! it could ruin your freindship, and even though you wantto have sex you willl regret it in a few years.

I cannot believe what I’m reading I’m 17 and babes let me tell you one thing boys come and go
Trust me they do and this will continue for agggeeesss!!!
There’s one thing u don’t want to been seen as and that’s one of those
Girls who do that kind of thing and everyone knows about it
Your only fourteen babe how can u be thinking of these things seriously
I’m not going to sit here and say think about life think about education
Because I was young once and those kind of comments justr make u think
Ahhhh shut up lol so all I can say is babe when u get a little older and u chose
To say no to this boy u will be so happy and pleased with yourself
Hopefully u do say no though and tell him aswell he’s to young for this!!!
Take everyones advice pleaseee!! I can’t stress enough xxxx

Dear 13 year old,

You’re very smart for your age. I know this because you understand that somebody should love your for YOU and also have feelings for you before you do anything with them. So you’re already on the right track. Don’t worry so much. Life is confusing and we all want to have the right answers and do the right thing. From the sounds of it- you just need love. Maybe you don’t get enough love and attention in your family? Anyway, the key is to try love yourself by filling your days with things that make you happy and will make you confident. Get to know yourself! That’s my best advice. No one can love you or make you happy. Only you can and once you do that, you will really unlock the key to love from others. So keep up the strong, confident attitude.

Hope this helps!

Dear 13 year old,

You’re very smart for your age. I know this because you understand that somebody should love your for YOU and also have feelings for you before you do anything with them. So you’re already on the right track. Don’t worry so much. Life is confusing and we all want to have the right answers and do the right thing. From the sounds of it- you just need love. Maybe you don’t get enough love and attention in your family? Anyway, the key is to try love yourself by filling your days with things that make you happy and will make you confident. Get to know yourself! That’s my best advice. No one can love you or make you happy. Only you can and once you do that, you will really unlock the key to love from others. So keep up the strong, confident attitude.

Hope this helps!

i think you just need to sit down with the boy and tell him your not a girl who wants to be walked all over like a doormat coz in my eyes thats not how us girls should be treated. If your not in a relationship with the person then technically you should not be forced into doing something you dnt want to do…

good luck x x

Sweetheart,

You know something? Today, I was very upset with my own self when I stumbled upon this question of yours. Going through your question, I could actually start to realize that life is not how it seems. Just a few moments before it seemed to be me that my life was life a dark tunnel, i was loosing myself to this hollowing darkness. But, I feel, that my sorrows are even less when compared to yours.

It is because I still know that I am this, and at the end of the day I am only this much elastic. But, dear, you are loosing yourself. Believe me, nothing in life is more important than knowing who you are. What you want to be. What you want to be that will make you happy. It is your life, it is a gift from God to you. These boys that you are so concerned with, when the stars shine down, will not care if you survive, if you two breads to eat or a place to sleep. If today a cyclone hits your home, they won’t come to save you.

It is always you, you and you. When you cry hours and hours, in loneliness, they don’t come to you. So why should you ever care to do something they have asked you to do? Dear, be happy with what you are, what you are from your soul, from within. Don’t ever change yourself for someone else’s love, cause love would never expect you to change. Believe me, somebody, somewhere in this world is waiting for you. He has started loving you even before he knew it was love and he will keep on loving you till the end of the world.

Get involved in education, try to become the best you can be. Challenge yourself, push your limits. Make a change in this world, this way you really feel you are loved. Today, when you come out of your school, ask to go to an orphanage and give a small child a five dollar note. You’ll see the smile. That’s love.

Take care. Be very happy. You might wake up tomorrow, to see you are in a totally different world- in heaven.

your 13, im sorry your too young tbh.
my mate is 13, and shes doing stuff. i dont think you should be.
focus on school work, gettin a good educaiton/grade.
Have time hanging out with friends, makin the most of life. dont fink about all that now, itll make life boring, confusing and worhtless. and youll be stressed. push boys out of ur life for a bit, and just stick with ur girls bebss[: x

I’m sorry to start my reply like this but you are only 13->14 and you have years infront of you to be with boys enjoy the childhood you have whilst you still can.