As for your friend, think about this: how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? If your friend pitched up with one of your exes (and we don’t know the circumstances of their breakup – did you two have an affair that caused him to leave her, did they have a bad breakup, etc? circumstances are relevant here). How would YOU feel? Especially if things did go wrong for you. It’s not easy to see someone you used to be intimate with being intimate with someone else – especially one of your friends!!

I believe 99% of your problems stem from the inner conflict you experience – you are angry with yourself and you are self-absorbed. Most of the anger you feel is about your unmet expectations – both of the rest of the world and of yourself. You need to be more generous to other people and to yourself. All of your issues could be solved with a little bit of mature thinking, patience and emotional intelligence.

We all have to grow up sometime. The world owes you nothing. You owe it to yourself.

Good luck.

Good luck… xx

I have been where you have believe me. At 17 I had left home to live with my bf due to family stuff-luckily I have a close bond with my mum but this was being shattered back then. I was also at 6th form, hardly turned up due to all my personal problems and on top of it I had an eating disorder.

I was overweight but took diet pills, made myself sick and starved myself for long periods of time and kept it a secret from everyone and consequently lost a shocking amount of weight, which everyone put down to stress.

The only way to overcome this is either with another doctors help-go to a completely different surgery- or by dealing with all the problems that contribute the self harm and binging.

I had to face up to the situation I was in and also rebuild bridges with everyone involed-you may want to start with you mum, she will be hurting over your dad and also hurting that you and her argue. Once one thing idn’t a problem, you can begin on another.

It took me over a year to return to my nearly normal self and you have made the first step to recovering which is acknowledging your problems. I found that once I had solved an issue, I didn’t feel as negative and started to realise what I was doing to myself was caused by all the external problems. I resolved problems with my mum and we found faith in God/Father/Mother/Great Spirit-whatever is your preference. By having her back and also knowing I had my loved ones looking out for me I knew I had to change my life.

Firstly, it seems as though you are suffering multiple problems all at once and can feel like anyone you may want to talk to about it will not understand you. This is true to the extent that not everyone is suffering to the extreme lengths you are. You need to help your mind become self-sufficient to help deal with everything you are facing. Slow down and mentally categorise them before you crash and burn.

OK, so there’s this self-confidence problem about being overweight. Stressing out about it is only going to make you reach out for those comfort foods more. An action that could make you feel good is to throw away every biscuit, crisp and chocolate (yes even the ones hiding under your bed). It will help to reinstate your control over food and help your self esteem. Replace all your snacks with healthy alternatives (e.g. replacing chocolate bars with bananas and biscuits with wholegrain snacks) and make sure you have 3 meals at regular times of the day (don’t even think about skipping breakfast). Your eating habits might be psychologically correlated to this connection you feel you don’t share with your father and lack of bonds with other members of your family, friends & boyfriend.

In order not to take anger out on your boyfriend, don’t think about the times you aren’t seeing him but rather concentrate on the times you will see him. Make them count. You can make it special and you don’t need to spend money to do so. For example, you could simply have a movie night, a day set aside for either one of you to cook each other, etc. Realise that a lot of men feel clueless and helpless when someone they love is suffering so much. They tend to retract and give you space because they don’t want to see your pain as it hurts them and they don’t know how to help you cope. You need a good few girl mates/relative you can have a good chat with not just to help get things out in the open but their outer perspective can help you find a solution and feel better.

Your thoughts about your relationship with your dad are bugging you so much that it is clouding you from the truth that you do love him and care about him. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be feeling so agitated. Go to see him more calmly and try not to argue about bills- it can only add to both of your stresses (from experience when my dad was in hospital after a stroke). Talk about planning to deal with the difficulties and take him something nice to read/eat/do because hospitals are not very nice and it will give him a sense of familiarity.

Sort your situation and thoughts out before learning how to drive because until they are resolved/cleared up, you won’t be able to think clearly about the task in hand of driving and get distracted, which won’t do much good if you are panicky anyways.

Most importantly, learn to love yourself. I have friends who are big and proud of their shape. In fact, use it to their advantage. Don’t force yourself to be thin if your body doesn’t allow it but your relationship with food is psychological. Binge eating occurs in people who are trying to fill a mental/emotional hole. Now, food can only satisfy your hunger not your mind. For that, you need to either find someone you can talk to or get your doctor to refer you to a counsellor. I know it can seem intimidating to go down that road but finding someone to talk to outside of your situation can be very therapeutic. Having a hobby can be therapeutic too. Doesn’t have to be major as long as you can concentrate your energy on something other than your problems.

I hope this helps- I’ve been in a similar situation too and a lot of what I’ve written is from experience and my psychology background from college & uni.

Best of luck,

xKx

i think some thimes just talking to your mum could help.
no need for doctors just your mum, you say you dont have a conection with your dad maye its because you and him may not have tried hard enough.
this thing with your freind, shes not a freind. she should be sticking by you, dose she know about your eting problem or any other problems u may have?
you need to give your boyfreind a bit of sapce n time to text back, you never know he cold be in the middle of something and has his hands full of something. theres no need to worrie because if he likes yu as much as u like him he will text back.
men cant live without weomen, they would be nothing lol!
honestly tho bbe. try and talk to your mum,i wouldent sujest talking to your boyfreind aout it…

let me know how things go becuse i hope its all fine

best wishes bex ! x