I have feelings for my married boss

Not only does it sound selfish your wanting him to get a divorce when he has a one year old child, it also sounds foolish. What do you REALLY KNOW about this man? Other than that he seems charming and is happy being unfaithful to his wife with someone he works with?

Don’t be a fool. If things blow up- and they will- you will end up losing your job AND this man who will most likely choose to stay with his wife. Your actions are encouraging him to cheapen you& see you as an “extra bit on the side.” Is that how you really want to be thought of?

Why is your self- esteem so low that you feel you can only be involved with a married man? Don’t you deserve someone unavailable? Do you really want to break up a marriage? Do you want to be the cause of his child’s having nightmares at night and being without a dad, seeing his or her dad only at weekends? Would you have wanted some woman to do to your mom and you what you’re doing to this child and this family? Would you like to be in his wife’s shoes? Or would you prefer that he divorce her, and marry you- only to cheat on you with someone else he works with?

I know that my questions seem harsh but you need to get real here. Don’t fool yourself that this man is madly in love with you and that you’re the only woman he’s looked at other than his wife. Even if he likes you, his main aim is to get you into bed and then go back to his wife. If he’s so unhappy with her, why hasn’t he left her yet? Is he waiting for his child to grow up first?!

Please THINK. Please develop your values, your self-esteem, your dignity and self-respect and end this foolish flirtation and find a new job- before things REALLY get out of hand- and you end up regretting you ever met this loser.

I hope the advice I gave helped you. You can find me anytime at my website: anonymousletters.net
I am an agony aunt who answers help letters for free. I like helping people and don’t like to see others in pain.

Look up EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on Google or under EFT section on siouxhealer.co.uk This is a great method for building confidence to help you make the right decisions and do what you need to do to help yourself.

Dear ……..,
when you r manager divorces and marries you it could also be that when you are husband and wife he could cheat on you as he did on his ex-wife. Maybe he does this to every woman he meets. It could also be that he just wants sex. Are you really sure that you can trust that man? No, because he cheated his wife. I hope you understand my view of the things.

Yours ?

woah harsh advice lisa . is that necessary ?

i this will be hard to do but what i think you should do is tell your manager that the flirting has to stop, remind him that he is married and has a child. if he goes mad he clearly was only interested in having a fling, you know messing around. also talk to him about his wife and children and refuse to be a thing on the side. if he has no intention of leaving his wife or delays speaking about what he plans to do about his wife and children you should realise he has no intention of leaving them.

many men are only interested in having a fling on the side. like the initial thrill of it. the majority of men who do this sort of thing say, to the person they have on the side , “oh your the one etc etc” . most of the time they never end up leaving their wives.

finally, how long have you worked at the company ? he cannot possibly say you have always been the one if you havent been working there most of your life. and judging by your letter it doesnt sound like you are very old. .

i hope my advice helps. x

I think you need to assess how deep your love for each other really is. If it’s just going to be an affair for a couple of thrills then leave well alone, if it is going to be a lasting relationship then you should both be decent enough to leave your partners, though that’s probably a long shot if he has a baby girl.

Your main focus is your job. I think you should just keep working as normal and not let your relationship with your boss get in the way. And never give up. Do not leave unless it becomes too much to bear.

Hope I helped.

You should not continue with this relationship. Your boss is your boss, hes married and has a child. Cut your ties now. Hes probably feeding you lines like “its always been you” so that he can have a bit on the side if his marriage is a bit in the dumps at the moment. I know you love you job and you shouldnt have to leave so either contact Unison who give confidential advice about work problems or leave for your own good. It might be the best choice you ever make, making a fresh start for yourself.
I always think that you should stay clear of married men no matter what they tell you or if they look like Brad Pitt – - – theyre married! It just shows hes not trust worthy or if he was that unhappy with his wife he would have sorted it and not flirted with an employee.

Lisa – as a “professional” agony aunt you Should know that your advice should be objective and not subjective. The general aim of your advice is true, but i would look at they way your putting it across, as it’s immensely dictatorial (which is NEVER how advice should come across) and many reciepients would look apon it as unecissary. You also run the risk of them not listening to you because of its seemingly uncaring nature, just a few pointer’s, x

- And dear ….

This situation is not uncommon in the work place.
Many an employee find themselves drawn into a confusing and more often then not messy situation with someone in a postition of power.

The main things you need to consider is;
A) This man is married.
B) He has a small child.
C) He is capable of cheating.

Find time to sit by your self and really think about the benifits.
Do they outway the cons??

You have both already decided to forget about it, which is not a good sign.
If he really was hellbent on being with you he surely be able to stomach getting into bed with another woman at night? regardless of the fact that its the mother of his child.

You deserve someone who can give you the full package and not just a taster here and there, and right now, your only sampling.

Hope this has Helped you in some way.

Sadie, x

Why my advice has been deleted i have no clue, but hopefully whoever wrote the post was able to get to it before whoever deleted it did it.

It was a childish thing to do.

Sadie, x

Lisa, I am very concerned about your status as a “professioanl” agony aunt. You don’t seem to have any sense of tact or sensitivity, and your post on another story giving a girl who clearly has an eating disorder advice on how to lose even more weight is disgusting. You are a very dangerous person.
Otherwise, yes, stay away from married men, it will only end in heartache for all concerned.