I have cheated on him several times

You can’t just stay with someone because he might give you future security; it isn’t a good enough reason. I also think you need some counseling as you seem to have a problem with commitment. Cheating on someone is a sign that: 1- There’s something wrong with the relationship. 2- There’s something wrong with your self-respect and values.

You need to learn to value yourself and behave with dignity. If you’re unhappy with this man, cheating is not the answer. Jumping from one relationship to the other won’t solve anything either; it just confuses you more& makes you even more unhappy. Take time to sort out your life. You need time alone to discover who you are and what you want out of life BEFORE you get involved with anyone. Any relationship is bound to fail in your current state of mind. You simply don’t know what you want.

You really need counseling to help you sort out your life. There are organizations like MIND which give free counseling. Press the word MIND in a search engine to reach their website.

I hope the advice I gave helped you. You can find me anytime at my website: anonymousletters.net
I am an agony aunt who answers help letters for free. I like helping people and don’t like to see others in pain.

Look up EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on Google or under EFT section on siouxhealer.co.uk This is a great method for building confidence and will help you feel better about yourself so you make the right decisions. It is effective so do try it.

Cheating generally means you are unhappy in the relationship that you are in. I feel that if you love a man you would not do anything that would jeopordise that relationship because the thought of losing him would be unbearable. The fact that you have repeatedly cheated on your boyfriend shows that not only are you willing to risk losing him once, but four times. You do not seem to value your relationship with him very highly, other wise you wouldnt want to hurt him. I definately suggest leaving this man and taking some time to discover what you actually want in a partner, as your current boyfriend obviously doesn’t have what it takes.

I’m shocked! Four times! Lady you need to get a hold over you self. You definitely need counselling… Do get some before it’s too late…

You need to break up with your boyfriend. Cheating on your partner equals an unhappy relationship. Your boyfriend is obviously blissfully unaware of this but you need to call it quits. I think that you should take a break from all of these men and just concentrate on having fun with your friends and family. Time will answer your questions and you’ll realise which one you miss and truly love. If this so happens it is your boyfriend, then you need to come clean. It may be hard but 4 years is quite a while and he at least deserves your honesty above all else. Hope this helps x

Hey girl
Every one of these comments is negative ive noticed, and yes, cheating is wrong, but you are young! And i’m not saying that means its ok to cheat on your boyfriend but at this age i think its only natural to be curious. Who’s to say you can’t love your boyfriend but feel attracted to others?
I too, have cheated on my boyfriend, and it makes me feel awful knowing since hes such a great boyfriend! and i wouldnt wanna lose him for the world, but i dont want to lose the prime of my life either.
I probably sound really bad, but all i’m saying is that i can sympathise with you. If you really really want to stay with your boyfriend FOREVER then you should probably resolve to stop this madness! But its not like you’re married to him or anything, and you need to explore while you still can
Happy trails!

I think you are extremly stupid for wanting to throw a 4 year relationship away for someone who you’ve known barely five minutes. I feel sorry for your boyfriend who is completly unaware of ur disgusting antics! Do you not feel bad or guilty everytime you look at your boyfriend? Fair enough you don’t think you have a strong enough connection to continue with the relationship but did you ever think of telling him that? The first thing you should do is be honest with your boyfriend who is obviously the innocent one in all of this and then secondly you should get counselling about your commitment issues like Lisa said. Sorry, I absolutly HATE cheaters with a passion so i don’t sympathise with you at all because you’re in the wrong…after everything you’ve done you’re sat on the internet asking for a solution out of you’re problems when you got yourself into them,and to be quite honest with you i don’t even think you’re willing to change. Once you’re boyfriend finds out what you’ve done, he wont want to be with you and you’ll just go find the next person you can screw over..I can’t wait until it happens to you so you know how it feels.

Hi,

For any successful relationship, mutual understanding and respect is essential. You should know what exactly you are looking out for,in a person.You have to look into your own self, have a proper internal dialogue, decide on what you want and then take a call.
If you have carried on with somebody for the last four years, then the recent guy -may be just a frivolous fling. Any way there is no Mr Perfect in the world. Relationship / marriage is always a compromise to some extent, only the degree / extent to which one compromises differs.
Instead of feeling guilty and then again getting into the vicious cycle, think cooly and take a decision. You say you have cheated on your boy friend but my advice is please do not cheat on yourself! All the best.

i think that you should end it with your boyfriend and go with the guy that you are thinking about. future security is not a good enough reason x