I don’t have a boyfriend
By Agony Aunt | October 22, 2008
well i am 14 and i have a norml life but i am startin 2 get realy unhappy all my mates have boyfriends i not the uglyest giorl& many boys do like me but i dont have fellings for them.
All my mates have had sex and i havent i realy want to but i want to find someone seshill to me that will make me happy how can i get more boys to like me hellppp
Topics: Teenage Agony Aunt Letters |
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You sound like a bright young lady from your letter. 14 is a bit young for boyfriends (even if it seems like every 14 yr old has a boy or girlfriend; trust me they don’t). And 14 is FAR too young for sex.
I understand you feel lonely right now& it seems like everyone is part of a couple. What you don’t realize is that sex complicates thing. It can be beautiful within a committed relationship like when you’re married but when you have casual sex it has serious consequences: You could get pregnant even if you take the pill. How would it feel to carry a child your age? You’re still not emotionally ready for that - or financially. You’re still a child yourself in many ways.
Casual sex also can lead to dangerous sexual diseases STDs like AIDS which can kill you. Sex also complicates things emotionally; it can intensify your feelings& trick you into thinking you’re in love with somebody who treats you badly or is no good for you. It can also make it hard to leave somebody who’s bad for you as you feel you ought to stay with them since you had sex.
This is all without even mentioning other bad things that can happen like getting a really bad reputation at school. Many boys are NOT gentleman and WILL (kiss& tell).
Also losing your virginity is a physically painful experience usually and if you’re not emotionally ready or the boy you’re with is not sensitive you will feel bad.
Ask yourself these questions to know if you’re emotionally ready for sex:
- If I have a relationship with sex and the guy leaves me how will I feel?
- What will I do or say to my parents if I get pregnant? What happens i I get pregnant and my partner leaves me to face it alone& I have to get an abortion or look after a baby? How will I look after a baby at 14?
- What happens if I get a sexually transmitted infection like syphilis or HIV (AIDS) or crabs? What will I do?
- What happens if I get a bad rep at school and no one wants to talk to me?
- What will I do if I fall in love after I have sex and the guy leaves me?
Ask yourself these questions. At 14 you should have a nice life without all those fears and worries that sex can bring. You should be focused on your studies and friendships. The right boy will come at the right time. But sex shouldn’t be part of the equation now. And not for a long time to come. Not if you want to be happy and not face pain and heartbreak at such a young age. Not if you want to be proud of yourself. Not if you care about yourself more than about any boy who could come and go. Not if you want to be a winner.
I hope my advice helped you. For further advice, pls visit my website:
anonymousletters.net
I’m a caring agony aunt always here to help.
Look up EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on Google or under EFT section on siouxhealer.co.uk This is a great method for building confidence to help you make the right decisions and do what you need to do to help yourself.