I am 16 and have never had a boyfriend
By Agony Aunt | October 22, 2008
I am 16 and have never had a boyfriend. I feel very out of place and It really gets me down.
The trouble is I’m extremely shy and self conscious, I’ve tried not to be but I just can’t seem to change it.
Theres this guy at college I really like. I’ve only known him a couple of months. He’s within my group of friends but we hardly ever speak. Yet on IM we have quite long conversations (which I always start). This could be because his boy mates are around at college but not at home. I don’t know.
We are in one lesson together but sit on opposite sides of the room. We keep making eye contact and I try to smile at him, but he just looks away all the time. I’ve tried studying his body language (eye contact, feet, nervousness etc.) and it would suggest he likes me but I’m thinking this might be all in my imagination.
He is extremely shy when it comes to relationships and I don’t think he’s ever had a girlfriend.
I don’t know what to do, I would really like to date him, but am scared that he’ll laugh or be frightened off. Is it too soon?
Also I don’t know how to approach him in person as he never seems to be on his own. The situation is beginning to affect my concentration levels and moods at college.
Please give me some advice.
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One Response to “I am 16 and have never had a boyfriend”
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There are several ways you can contact him without his friends being around. When you talk to him on messenger, you can give him your phone or cell number and ask him to call you. You can ask him for his number. You can send him an email explaining how you feel. After that, he’ll either approach you or ignore you. If he ignores you after receiving the email you’ll know for sure he’s not interested. It will hurt for awhile but you will get over it and you won’t have lost through not trying. You can even tell him on IM how you feel (I really like you but I’m too shy to talk at college with your friends around. If you like me would you like to meet me at ?) Then suggest a time and place. Make it definite like 6 PM at the movies or whatever. That way you’ll pin him down& he’ll either agree to meet you or change the conversation. Again, if he won’t give you a definite answer, you’ll know he isn’t interested. It will hurt but it will be better for you than where you are know won’t it? At least you won’t be in the dark wondering.
When you see him in class force yourself to smile at him and look him in the eye for a second before you look away so he knows you like him.
Remember he’s shy and you’re shy, so if you like each other& one of you doesn’t take the initiative (make the first move) you both lose out. Pls do one of the steps suggested above so you don’t kick yourself later wondering& wishing you’d done something. Even if he’s not interested it IS better to know. And that way you’d be open to meeting someone else.
The main thing is for you to work on your confidence so you have an easier time approaching people in all social situations (not just romantic). I’m very shy myself& I DO know what it’s like.
I suggest the following to boost your esteem to feel good about yourself whether or not you get the guy (and I hope you do)
- Look up EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) on Google or under EFT section on siouxhealer.co.uk It’s a great method for building confidence and will help you feel better.
- Practice deep breathing (in through the nose) then hold then release through the mouth slowly and count to ten
- Listen to free mp3 recording you can get for free through the net on search engines look up (free mp3 for building confidence)
- Listen to relaxing music& exercise. Walking, swimming or any exercise is great for building esteem& releasing feel good hormones
- Practice talking to people and rewarding yourself for doing small social activities you find hard. Smile at people you don’t know and start conversations. Most will respond well. Those who don’t it’s their problem& not your issue.
- Walk with your back straight& your head high. Body language plays a big part in boosting esteem.
- Read books on confidence& apply the tips in them for feeling better.
- Repeat positive affirmations to yourself daily at least 10 times (I’m a good and smart and beautiful person who deserves the best).
- Keep a written journal and write positive statements and write your wishes as if they’re coming true ( I like this guy and we’re happy together) Read them before sleeping and visualize happy thoughts.
- Have friends& hobbies so you don’t spend all your time dreaming about this guy. Set aside time to dream about him so it doesn’t consume all your waking hours.
I hope my advice helped you. I’m an agony aunt and my website is
anonymousletters.net
Go to my site and contact me through the contact me page if you need me.