I am 14 and Pregnant

You take up much of your message explaining the romantic setting you were in with your boyfriend – clear evidence that you are very strongly infatuated. This will cloud your reasoning.

You are at a very young age to have a child. A child will be the focus of your whole life from this point onward. You have only just lost your virginity – you cannot reasonably expect to have relationships with many (if any) other men from this point on.
You have already defined the course of your life at 16 years old. You may not now expect to be successful in business/education or any other area of life except that of motherhood. Is that what you want?

If abortion is not an option, I do not understand the reason for this message. Your mother will find out eventually, whether you tell her or not. That isn’t the problem.
The real problem is that you’re 16, you have no idea what you’re doing and you’re defining the rest of your life based on a single, unpredicted encounter.

Call planned parenthood.

I agree yu may be in love with your bf but its less than a year. people may say your wastin your life but when you hav the child it will be the most important thing in your life. You need to tell your mom befor its obvious at first she may be angry n disappointed but if she i a gd mother she will stand by and support you.. Good luck xx

I believe that aslong and you and your boyfriend both want and will care for this baby, then you’ll be fine. Your mum will stick by you as she loves you. My friend is also pregnant but she is 16, and she wants to keep it but I know for a fact that she is not ready, and she is too immature to take care of a new life, and thats nothing compared to the dead beat dad. Aslong as this baby is cared for and you keep with your education you will be fine

I can only suggest you do what your heart tells you is the right thing to do. In your ‘gut’ you know so trust your own instinct. Everything happens for a reason and right now you are a very young pregnant woman so you will be spending the next 20 years of your life raising a child. It’s far from the end of the world, in fact if you do it right (which I suspect you will ) you will simply be doing other things while your peers will most likely be doing what you are about to ~ time sequencing is reversed, is all.

Don’t ever stop learning though just because you will leave school early. If you can read you can educate yourself and to get the most out of life it’s all about learning ~ its a continuing project and the more you do it, the more enjoyable it is. It leads to a very fullfilling life, trust me.

Tell your family asap and start making plans. God Bless and Good Luck

Yeah, I agree. If u don’t tell ur mum before it’s too late, she’s probably gunna be even angrier. Don’t forget, pregnancy shows within a few months, u won’tt be able to hide it forever. I suggest u just tell her on her own. Jus don’t look happy cuz they tend to scream in ur face when u smile lol seriously though, u shud be fine bab. Good luck x x x

Hi, first of all, your mum will seriously notice soon enough that you are having a baby. She may already know a mothers knowledge of her child is strong, weather you think it is or not.
You need to consider everything that comes with parenthood. Your education, your future, your career you may want. You also need to understand as much as you think your relationship is perfect now when you have that baby everything could change and you will be the only person left holding the baby if your man decides father hood is not for him.
At this moment in time if you tell your mother she may seem angry, but she is really scared for you changing in to an adult so quick can be really tough, she is the best person to help you right now after all she had you and brought you up well didnt she.

Good luck and please dont let anyone make you decide what you are going to do about having the baby. You the baby and your mum are the only people who matter!

Hi

I think the sooner you tell your mum the better. You are already quite far gone.

There will be no easy way to say it. Tell her you need to speak to her in private and all you can say is, I’m pregnant.

Yeah, she’s going to be really angry and really upset that her little girl is not so little and she’s going to want an explanantion. But these are the consequences.

Once the initial anger is over at the end of the day you are her daughter and she will want to help you and take care of you.

Please find the courage to tell her, you have to think of your baby too and soon you will need to be having check ups with the doctor to make sure its healthy and you are healthy.

Take Care x

Hi,
I think you are too young to take on the responsiblity on your own. You need to tell you mother because you need an adult to talk to. Someone who will help you through it and the longer you wait the harder it will be. Your mother will be happier that you told her than if she found out herself.
You need to sit her down and jus ease into it. No matter what happens she loves you and she knows whats best for you, but you are too young to decide on your own.
You need to go through all the options of having or not having this child and figure out the consequences of your actions. You need to remember, you have a child now and you need to think about what is best for he/she.
Good luck

firstly you need to think about how old your boyfriend is, if he is 16 or over then he could get in alot of trouble for having sex with an underage girl. secondly you are very young to have a baby, but that doesnt meen you wont be a brilliant mother if you do, you have to think very carefully about what your doing. how this is going to affect your education, your financial situation and your family situation. could you support a baby? would you be able to give it the life it deserves? and the big question, if things were to end with your boyfriend would having the baby seem so appealing then? your mum will most likley be scared for you and dissapointed but if she loves you then she will put these feelings aside and help you! having a baby is a massive life long responsbility, your going to miss out on your teenage life and you dont want to. its not like babysitting were you can give them back at the end of the day… you have to spend every waking minute with this baby, it needs your completely undivided attention, if you really think you can handle this then go for it and the best of luck, just dont jump into the decision, sit your mum down and tell her everything, you will need her support if your going to have this baby, and you cant hide it forever, the sooner you tell her the better. good luck sweetheart, x steph x

Has your mother, family, any adult talked to you in regards to pregnancy, contraception, and arranged contraception at your age? as of your dating. If this is not the case, you have a defence for your behaviour. And you’ll probably have a lot more issues here on in to be on Agony Aunt about.

Okay you are 14 so think oh yes babies are cute, All i have to do is to change their bum and put them to sleep..easy. But ! From experience looking after a child at a young age is very hard, You will have to focus on your education, exams, socialising and all that other stuff and a baby will definately blow that all away.
Your friends will probably fall out with you,
Boys wont find you attractive (even if you do think your in love and you are going to stay with this guy forever)
The guy is most likely to give up on it because he realises it is too presurising,
& When you are 18 and start clubbing you have to makesure you have a babysitter and you have to make sure you are responisible 24/7
If you are worried about it then you are obviously not ready!
You are 14 at the end of all this and your only adding to the list of young teenage mums in england. People will look at you alot different to, Thinking how stupid you are.
I dont mean to offend you or be patronising but its the truth!
I think at this point you REALLY need to speak to your mum, She will have the best answer because if she says you should have it then atleast you know she will stick by you with the baby if your boyfriend gives up but if she dissaproves then she just knows whats best for you and you will thank her in the long run..
I just hopes she picks the right one because looking after a child IS A HUGEE responibily even if you dont see it
Seriously.. Speak to your mum, She has experienced after all because she had to look at you.
My opinion to you is DONT DO IT!

Obviously you have to tell your mum as soon as possible…. Tell her yourself, write it out in a note, get a friend to tell her, whatever. You say your boyfriend isn’t worried – does that mean he wants to have the baby?
Whatever it is, you have expressed quite a sense of maturity in dealing with the situation. Your mum will obviously freak when you tell her, but that’s ok… She has your best interests at heart, and together you’ll can decide what has to be done.
I am glad you have decided against abortion though. It’s a tough call to make, but you have made it
I wish you all the best at this very difficult stage of your life. Be brave and wise. I know you will set a good example for your friends and other girls your age.

look im the same age as you and girl I uderstand how difficult of a situation you are in because i have been in it. Here is a list of things to
do.

a) tell your mum you were out and that you were drunk and partying and tell her things got out of hand and you ended up having sex (If you metion your boyfriend or not is up to you), tell her you have missed three periods and tell her how you feel. then tell her you took a preganancy test. when things cool mention if not mentioned already you think it was your boyfriend.

b) find out how the condom had ‘not worked’, keep it cool with your boyfriend but show a feeling that you are unhappy with the situation and not ready. Also it is illeagal to have sex with a woman under 16.

c) talk to your mum about abortion not adoption as this is not what I advise unless no other option. Im sorry but are you really ready to through away future relationships, jobs, kids and education. Having a child and going through with it would be irisponable as this would play a big role in the childs life. Its mother needs to be educated. you will also become a single mother in the end as at 14 boys very very extreamly rarely stay with there girl especialy if theres a baby stuck in the middle.

heyy,
one of my best friends is 14 and she just had her baby trust me its hard and she didnt no what it would be like think about all the options you should tell your mum sooner rather than later and get it out of the way just sit her down and say you will always be her lil gal and things like that she might even help you out i hope you and your baby are happy good luck..x
Jadeeee x

hey look
im 14 to and i no what my mum and dad would do if they found out i was pregnant so in away they definitly make you wanna get rid of it.im not saying keep it though you still have a lot of years at school and what about your career how are you gonna pay for everything.have you and your boyfriend propably spoke about this had he said he will stick by you what ever you do. hey look i guess what im trying to say is dont follow what others tell you do what you think is right but i mean this do think before you rush in to things either way it will be hard

your 14 and this is a big impact on your life, your boyfriend will not want to stay in when all of his firends are going out and stay in looking after a baby. and i dont think you will but you will have no chocie. also do you think you can provide everything that the baby needs. and have a good future for it. you should wait until your older, you are to young. why not live your teens and do stuff until you want a baby?

Erm that sounds like a story, its very descriptive.
But if you was ready then you do something like that. But if your not ready make sure you dont. you sounded ready, but not that ready. But what ever happens keep the baby, abortion and giving it away etc is terrible, im sorry but just please dont. Keep the baby, and if you cant look after it, can your mum or anyone in your family? Keep strong do what you thinks best. Tell your mum, its better to tell her now, then her to find out. She will start seeing the bump etc ,and she will be even madder you didnt tell her sooner. Dont worry she probably will tell you off, but thats cos she loves you, every good parent would give their child a bolacking, but she will be in tears when she see’s your baby, tears for joy, she will be so proud of you, but still obviously mad. seen as your 14 years old. I am 13, and im sorry but i wouldnt dream of havinga baby at that age, you should have waited till you was married, older and was with someone you knew whu wud stay withn u forever, and 6months isnt very long, i just hope he is a decent boyfriend, i hope your life is a good one,and good luck and congradulations when your baby is born <3 x

heey hunnie,
i know exactly how you feel b’coz im going through the exact same thing, im soo in love and have wanted a baby for months but now the time has come im not so sure. i couldnt go through adoption myself so i wouldnt put anyother kid through it and i also dont think i could have an abortion. i too am 14 and not knowing what too doo. if you like me are worried to tell your boyfriend that your not sure if you want too keep the baby oncase he will leave you, dont be! i was too but then i told him and he stuck by me. i still dont know how im going to tell my mum but life will unfold in its own way
hope i helped and good luck xxx

well i personally dont belive in abortion but hey its not my child or my life but seriously u need to tell your mum even if u have an older sister or brother u r really close too nd u can tell them thn when one person knows you can tell your mum trust me i have been throght exactly what you av been through and my mum was angry thn upset but now she happy i am only 2 years older than you but i got pregnant at the age of 15 but it honestly is ok Good Luck xxx

i know how you are feeling has i am a young mum myself, but i was older then 14 when i had my little girl, you have to think bout all the things that you are going to miss out on and you are still at school and babys give no sleep at all on a night so what is going ot happen when youy come to do your GCSE

i know how you are feeling has i am a young mum myself, but i was older then 14 when i had my little girl, you have to think bout all the things that you are going to miss out on and you are still at school and babys give no sleep at all on a night so what is going ot happen when youy come to do your GCSE, the best thing that you can do to tell your mum is sit her down and talk to her she may be mad to start with but in time she may come round and is the dad doing to stand by you if you have this baby it is hard work to be a young mum cos when all your friends are out you can not jsut go you will have to think bout the baby first before anything else i know all bout that i wish i had waited to havae child

A friend of mine got pregnant at 14. Her boyfriend was happy, so on and so forth, but 4 or 5 months after the baby came along, he left her because he couldn’t cope, and eventually her parents were left to bring up the child.
You have to think of your child here, though. Will you be able to provide it with everything it needs?
You’ll probably have to leave school and chances are you’ll barely see your friends anymore, the baby will ALWAYS come first.
Telling your mom will be difficult and she will be upset, but no matter how it goes, she will support your decision. Sit her down and explain, it’s the only way you can really tell her.

Hi I heard your story and I think it is really good that you won’t have an abortion it shows that u truely care 4 this baby already. Evreybody gets nervous before their baby is born and wonder if the can cope it is normal. Anyone who says u can’t cope just because u are young is wrong I myself am a teenage (a bit older than u though) mum and it’s hard work but u don’t mind as there is a small baby and a bond between mother and baby no matter how young u are. As for your mum I understand u are scared 2 tell her but u must 2 be honest I’m suprised she hasn’t noticed 3 months of missed periods already but u should tell her soon though and most mums care 4 a while until they actualy see their grandchild anyway u and your bf have 2 take responsability 4 the life u both created

if it were me, i don’t think i could get rid of the baby, or give it up for adoption as my dad was adopted and i think it would hurt him, keep the baby, and when the baby has gotten older and started school, you can go back and get your GCSE’s and get a career on track, if your mum loves you she will be supportive, obviously i don’t have a clue how it feels to be in this situation, but there’s no going back now, all you can do is make the best of it and bring the baby up the best way you possible can xx

you do not have any option just accept and allow ur baby 2 come and live in this world . but i want 2 sat dat u have done such a damanable work . how shameful u are.

if your mums anything like mine shell be upset at first but loves you enough to support your chose, having a bby young is rewarding but also a huge set back thats why shell be upset and probably will be till the bby comes. you have to prove to her that your mature enough to handle having a bby, a mothers love runs much deeper than any childless person can understand but wen you do have your bby u will know why she was upset, a mother only wants the best for her child, she will understand, but you have to respect her by telling her the truth, i was scared to but its worth it in the end believe me. xx

This was a silly thing to do in the first place but its too late now. I think you should really consider abortion or adoption if you cant face telling your mum.

If you do decide to keep it I would tell your mum as soon as possible before she finds out on her own. Mums are good at finding things out.

what a joke, there are so many adults who struggle to have kids cause of health issues or financial issues and you get kids asuming they know what life is all about. Im 20 and would love a family, im with my partner, we have our own place, both have jobs and we have both finished our education.but we know we still must wait to save money etc. and you get silly kids getting pregnant then worrying like mad. you think your old enough to be having sex and creating life, your old enough to deal with it.

listen sweetheart you need to tell your mum she will be angry but she will wat to help you. i had a frtiend your age who didnt tell her mum and had a straught abortion and her mum was angrier with her for noy telling her. it would be hard work to look after a baby at your age. i suggest telling your mum. also if your boyfriend loved you so much he would have waited for you both to be 16

good luck sweeti and i hope it all works out x

hey guys she’s made a mistake and she knows it. she’s probably beating herself up about it. yeah it’s stupid, but what’s happened has happened. we’re supposed to be HELPING her. not making it worse for her.

i know how you feel. i think you should just tell her and get it over with. all the best. i’ll pray for you.

Sorry but you’ve just ruined the best years of your life, dont get me wrong, i love the prospect of one day having children with the woman i love but it has unfortuneatly come waayyyy too early for you, you cant drink as much, party as much, work as much. All these things appropriately stop being of so much interest once you reach a certain age but now you need to push on, if you want to keep it, you have to really understand what it is…this is another life, another person that you are responsible for through the most important years of their life when your going to only just be getting through them yourself. Make sure your bf knows this, you have to be prepared for him to run from the problem ultimately, he seems to be way too comfortable with this…he clearly hasnt given this enough thought. Be brave, you have to push through this whilst loving the child aswell, no easy task for someone your age. good luck

I know you are thinking of keeping the baby,but your 14! you have your whole life ahead of you! think of all the thing you want to do! also your boyfriend could be charged with rape as your under 17. are you sure you cant consider abortian?

Hey Sweetheart,

I firstly want to say, well-done for using protection. Yes it may not have worked for a number of reasons, but at least you were both responsible enough to use a condom.

Secondly, your mum needs to know. She will be very angry yes; she will say things she doesn’t mean. But at the end of the day she has been pregnant and will understand what you’re going through. No matter what she says, she loves you and will support you, even if it takes a while.

Make sure you tell her that you waited to have sex and you used protection, she will be proud that you were responsible, even if she doesn’t say it or seem like it.

You seem to have a lovely man who will stand by you, it’s a rare thing and the younger you are the rarer it is.

Good luck sweetheart, just remember whatever your decision maybe, make it for YOURSELF, not for anyone else because at the end of the day you will be the one going through the most crazy emotions of your life.

x

tbh, if it was me i wud tell my mum cuz she dnt believe in abortions or anythin like that. She wud help me thruu it. Bt the longer yuu leave it the worse you mum may react. Just try and understand her point of view too yeah?
Good Luck Babe, X

I would come out and say it. But i’m not in that position, so i cant tell u what to do. Just do what your heart tells you (i know cheesy but true!), when you and your mum are lay down chillin in the living room watching tv, come out and say it. Explain what happened first though, and then say, i’ve missed 3 periods and ive done a test. I’m Pregant! Easier said than done though! x goodluck x

hi the first thing i have to say to you is i am glad you have come on this advise line . you need to talk to your mum it wont be easy but there are other things that need to be considered. 1. health get yourself checked out. I know a person who i meet once in hospital who was 14 and had to go through a difficult birth due to health issues of the baby. You sound like a person who was trying to keep yourself safe. 2.Your mum can help you make the right decision. Good luck stay healthy ………….

Hey Sweetie,
I’m really glad you had the courage to post this and ask for help, being pregnant at 14 is probably rather frightening! Some of these comments are really great have good advice in them. Think through this carefully honey. Are you absolutely 100% sure your boyfriend will stick by you and go through this with you? Are you sure he actually LOVES you? Are you sure you LOVE him? And last of all, do you really care for the baby and will you be willing to SACRIFICE things for him/her? I know if i was pregnant (no matter what age) i would never but it up for adoption or have an abortion because I feel it would be too harsh but it depends how YOU feel about it. If you really can’t keep the baby, maybe the only option is to have an abortion or put it up for adoption.

And you should really tell your mum… I’m pretty sure she will understand as she loves you. She might get angry at first but she will come round to it eventually. Maybe tell her at dinner or something?
Good luck sweetiexxx
All the best <33

I was 15 when i fell pregnant with my 1st child.. it is not easy work! By the sounds of it you are 3 months one. you are not going to be able to hide it forever. You mum probaly all ready knows some thing is wrong…thats just mums for you! You need to talk to her and soon. If you are keeping this baby you need all the support you can get. But i strongly advise you to do whatever you want to do and dont feel pressured into doing what some one else wants you to do as in the future you will regret it! Best of luck hun!

Not only are you far too young to be having a child, how are you going to financially support it? who will look after it while you are at school? How can you possibly teach a baby about the world when you havent even learnt about it yourself yet? What if your boyfriend leaves you? have you even thought about any of these, as well as the fact YOU COULD GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE POLICE as sex with a minor is statutory rape which is a criminal offence. so if you want to ruin your life, sponge of the tax payer, and have your boyfriend in jail, go ahead.
otherwise use some common sense and get an abortion.

firstly,ask yourself , do i want a baby ?. then if the answers yes try to think of all the good things that could come out of you having a child. if the answers no ,then consider adoption . that way you can be sure that your baby is in a happy . some agencies even allow you to see your child after they have been adopted . remember abortion isnt the ONLY option .

Firstly, stay brave. It must be so hard and scary for you, I’m 14 myself. I think you really need to tell your Mum, she will really help you through this. It’ll be scary, and I can almost guarantee she will be mad as you lied before about where you were going. But, the sooner the truth comes out, the sooner she can support you and help you, and the less mad she will be. Say you have something to tell her, and sit her down, do it soon, the longer you stall, the more you will convince yourself not to do it. Also , your mum might help you decide what to do with your baby, but I’m sure she’ll love you whatever as you’re young and you’re hers. I want you to also consider maybe giving your child to close family, at least till you’re a bit older. Teenage years is where your life begins, and also,if you’re British, GCSE’s will arrive soon, followed by A Levels, and then maybe University. If you want to keep your baby, I would really consider giving him/her to a close family member until you are older, and visit him/her often though, because if you want to support your new family, you’ll need a good job, so consider Uni, and also you WILL need support, so tell your parents. Maybe, if you tell your mum, you could ask her to tell your Dad, you know how Dads can be. But, at the end of the day, it’s YOUR child, so listen to your heart, you won’t find your particular answer here.
I’m sorry for the essay, I just really wanted to help. ;D
And remember, if things get tough, whatever you decide, you will always have at least one other hand to hold, whether you know it or not. Things happen for a reason, and maybe this child is destiny.
Stay strong. <3

soz matey, that comment above was to sud. a dammable act? really? what century are you in? Puh-Leaze. anywayz, stay strong babe

Firstly I think you are too young to understand your feelings. it might just be infatuation you are feeling. Also telling your mom will be ideal because honestly, this is a very huge deal. stay positive

Hi, there are 2 things you need to think about. You are very young to be having a child and he/she will take over your life completely which will unfortunately mean you will not fulfil your complete education. On the other hand, you might want to keep the child and if you have an abortion (which you probably won’t), then you might regret killing your child. I think even if your’e young, you should keep your child. He/she will soon grow to love you and that is a wonderful feeling, much better than having a job and working. Once your child is old enough, you can start working but you can never get back that baby if you had an abortion. All the special features about it would be gone! Try to break the news to your mum carefully, shouting it at her in a fury is only going to complicate things! I’m sure if your mum loves you and cares about you, she will understand and support you with whatever decision you make! Best of luck, Gemma x

You should tell your mum asap! She might be mad at first but shell be happier if you tell her now than later tbh. And you need to be sure your boyfriend will stand by you. He might not be worried now but being a parent is a huge responsibility. Good luck! X

i know exactly how you feel. i was in a relationship with a boy, and after 5 months, we had sex, and a couple of times later, the condom split, and i was left devistated. i honestly did’nt know what to do, i was 14 at the time. my boyfriend was going on about what we can do in the future and planning our lifes out together as a family. it didnt seem to bother him at all. after 4 weeks, i took a pregnancy test, and it came back possitive, i was devistated. a week later i took another one, and that one come back negitive. i was left confussed, distraught, and clueless.
luckly, two weeks later, i got a period, and i was so happy.
i know exactly how you feel babe, please just stay strong.
propably the best thing that you could do is:
a) tell your mam asap.
b) chat with your mam and boyfriend about what you want to do. think about the baby aswell as yourself.

i hope everything goes well for you, and good luck for you.
please stay strong, <3 x

wow u type of people make me sick keep your pants up you dirty tramp and stop sleeping around i bet your boy friend didnt even love you he just wanted to get in your pants so do me a favour and find a coat hanger and cut the baby out yourself

you boyfriend regardless your mum liking him or not should be there when you tell her because this immediatly shows he is willing and is their for you which in time your mum will respect.

no one can tell you what you want to do and if you want to keep the baby. i have a child at 16 adn i am 18 now so my child is only 2 and all of my friends are going out yo knight clubs and i am sat at home with my son. my son has made me stronger but it has put me and my boyfriend throught so mutch i have been so ill. i did not know that i was pregnant throught the whole pregnancey so my mum and dad only found out when i did but the best thing is to tell them they might be angrey for a coupple of days btu they will serport you know matter what

good luck <3