He has no respect for me
By Agony Aunt | October 2, 2008
I got divorced after 7 years, 15 years in total of being with my x husband. He put me and my now partner through hell. He dragged both of us through the courts for which we nearly split up over. Even so, we moved house and worked at getting though the problems left behind us.
I have been with my partner for 9 years, engaged for 4 and have made arrangements to get married on Dec this year. Occasionally through our relationship my partner will have a “paddy” do something and blame it on me and stop talking to me for a few days, last time he had a paddy over me telling him that I was fed up with his strops. He moved into the spare room and didn’t talk to me for a week. I ended up making the first move to fix things.
On Sunday of this week he asked me a silly question and I said it was a silly question and he replied well then, you do it on your own and walked off. I left him for an hour or so to cool of, but was greeted by two other friends who said that he was to be avoided as he was in foul mood shouting at the dog and throwing stuff around!. I went and found him and asked if he was ok as two friends had heard his shouting and wondered if all was well, he called a liar and said that he has only spoken to one person about his feelings and I asked him to come inside and talk he refused. I told him firmly that he has started this argument and I had come back and tried to put it to bed and he was refusing and that he should grow up and forget whatever it was that he had done, he shouted at me and said that it was not what he had done but what I had done. Again I asked him to come inside - he refused. When he went inside I followed him, closed he door and stood infront of it and told him that I was not going to move until he spoke to me he just ignored me and I carried on telling him I was fed up that he took every thing out on me, his problems at work, me being made redundant and the frustrations and loosing a competition and that he needed to grow up fast. He threatened me that if I thought that in the past he made me hurt he would make me hurt even more this time as it will be more than a week he doesn’t talk to me for. And he hasn’t spoken to me since Sunday afternoon, he has started to sleep on the sofa and quite honestly I am torn. I want to leave him but I love him. I feel that he has no respect for me, constantly tells me I am a liar and feel as though he has no respect for me. I don’t know what to do.. please help
Topics: Marriage Advice |
2 Responses to “He has no respect for me”
Leave a Reply
« My boyfriend has recently lost his job | Home | I love two men »
Since your partner treats you with such blatant disrespect& total disregard for your feelings, the only solution is to ask him to go to couples counselling with you. If he won’t, you can always go alone. If things don’t work out in therapy, you will need to consider leaving this man and finding someone better who will treat you with the respect you deserve. Hopefully, your self-esteem is not so shot down by his behaviour that you’ve become desperate enough to believe he’s the only man on earth. Even nine years later, it’s not too late to leave. Only by doing so will you find someone better. Don’t believe it’s a choice of either this loser or being alone. It isn’t. If things don’t change, find the courage to leave before it’s too late. It would be much harder to be married to this guy and have him mistreat you in front of your kids. I hope you find the strength to do the right thing for yourself. Good luck.
There’s an orgnization called MIND which gives free counseling. Just type the word MIND in a google search site& you’ll find their site.