He Has A GirlFriend Who Lives Abroad
I’ve recently got to know this man who is 6 years my senior, I’ve only met him
twice but we really feel as if we can trust each other, we stayed up to 5am
talking and I told him things I wouldn’t normally tell new friends.
He told me a lot of private things too. The next night we watched a film, he had his arm round me and linked his fingers with mine, then when I went to bed he sat by me and stroked my hair.
The only thing is he has a girlfriend who he seems to really care about, he might think of it all innocently. He hasn’t seen his girlfriend in a few months as she lives abroad so he might be inadvertently getting close to me because he misses her? I don’t know what to think, I’m so confused.
Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
Comments on He Has A GirlFriend Who Lives Abroad »
My boyfriend has recetly gone onto a chat up line, and has been on the phone to another woman, basically chatting her up. What should I do? Is this classed as cheating? I don’t really have much experience in relationships. Could someone please give advice?
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Many times we project our needs and desires on the other person ,only to be disappointed when they are not fulfilled .We start having expectations … and then we feel confused and let down when they are not met.
I think that the bottom line, here , is that thIS guy
is in a relationship and he cares about his girlfriend – he makes no mistery about that.
He may be getting close to you because he misses his girl and he needs affection ,true – and that may have happened quite innocently, or even not so innocently- he might feel physically attracted to you, why not ?
But are his motivations really so important ?…The point here is that he is taken- and not available to you ,at least in the way you would like.
You may feel that, in his place, you would have acted differently, you would not have flirted or gotten so affectionate to somebody . But- that’s your own “code”, your set of values
and habits and way to express yourself- other people may feel and act differently. For you holding hands or stroking hair must mean something… for a lot of other people…not necessarily
If you are able to enjoy this romantic friendship without any particular expectations, just being in the moment and not worrying about where it’s all going to , and will he leace his girl, etc. etc. – then, by all means, do. But I’ve got the feeling that this is not your case…
Good luck anyway – and remember , this feel like a special guy- but there are a lot of guys around who might be both special and available
Cynthia
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This is a very difficult topic. from what you say he sounds like a decent bloke but unfortuneatly, 99% of men are very centred around the physical side of a relationship, not directly obsessed but its more important to us. He’s in a long distance relationship so, depending on how long he’s been going out with her, he will eventually break up with her, due to the lack of physical contact. He has basically found someone that he really likes (you) and sees an emotional and physical relationship between the two of you. You should be happy but you should let him and yourself know that you need to do right by his gf. Give it some time
As for the chat up line problem, try and talk about it with him but make it clear that it doesnt make you happy and tell him that it is pratically cheating, because its a couple of months away from seeing other women, are you making yourself available to him?
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hi just as one mans trash is anothers treasure you could be misreading his actions. some people are more tactile than others . Be sensitive and make sure that he knows what your boundrys are. You can let him know if you are uncomfortable with his behaviour . keep it friendly
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This is a very difficult topic. from what you say he sounds like a decent bloke but unfortuneatly, 99% of men are very centred around the physical side of a relationship, not directly obsessed but its more important to us. He’s in a long distance relationship so, depending on how long he’s been going out with her, he will eventually break up with her, due to the lack of physical contact. He has basically found someone that he really likes (you) and sees an emotional and physical relationship between the two of you. You should be happy but you should let him and yourself know that you need to do right by his gf. Give it some time
As for the chat up line problem, try and talk about it with him but make it clear that it doesnt make you happy and tell him that it is pratically cheating, because its a couple of months away from seeing other women, are you making yourself available to him?
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I feel exactly the same way, I am 14 and am with a girl I realy like but she has also told me about the times she has had intercorse before. I also feel like I have to do It with her before she will respect me. :/
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regardless if you like him or not it is clear he is not a trust worthy person as he is most obviously flirting with you even if its only gone as far as linking finger’s you should tell him he needs to stop because he is leading you on and he had already got a girlfriend even if he is lonely its not excuse to behave like that, ask him what is going on with him and his girlfriend are they still together does he like you more and tell him how you feel about this as well talking is the key to opening a relationship so if you truly want one talk, talk, talk good luck x
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Your going to get attached to this guy if you carry on any further, if not already. He has a girlfriend and it is going to make you feel second best especially if he calls her and speaks to her on a regualr basis which you wouldnt know about. I think this will be nothing but heartbreak for you. Stop now before you get to involved. There is plenty of single guys out there without a girlfriend who you could go for. Your asking for emotional breakdown if you carry on with this relationship. I think you need to stop if you havnt already. gud luck x
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