He is flirting with another women, I just gave birth

I think you should tell him exactly how you feel and that you do not like what he is doing. Make him sit down and pour out your heart to him. Ask him to place himself in your shoes and then think. Listen to what he has to say and then decide. If you really love him, give him another chance. I know it’s going to be difficult, but try to trust him and at the same time, be a little watchful. And remember, nobody can make you feel low. You’ve got two beautiful kids and they will love you for what you are.

being a guy i remember the time when my wife was pregnant and i was in this same phase. its really difficult to explain but guys never run away from responsibility, they have a side to them which wants to flirt and doing the same things we used to do as a teenager, just for the rush. some do it ’cause they have found a new person to love and some do it for personal satisfaction without meaning any harm to their partner. best advice will be to give it time and give him some space. if both these things dont solve the problem then you have to take a decision to solve it or dissolve it. also try and understand that women go thru a lot of emotional stress during and after pregnancy and tend to read more than actually whats written. evaluate the situation or take the help of a friend or someone close who can help you take a decision without taking sides.

hey, what you need to do is talk to your own friends about this issue .if you still feel that this has created an issue where you cannot stay in contact any more with him,then you should go and get support and stability from your friends although you have children with him,you dont want to raise them in an environment where there is constant arguing and falling out between you bith this will not be good for the children and also will not be good for you. finally once youi have enough proof or reason to believe that he is still i contact with her this is when you should confront him about it,
i hope this helps x

1. Give him another chance.
2. Stop nagging him at once.
3. Be watchful, and if he cheats you again, throw him out

Tell him how you arew feeling yet don’t nag, try to solve it as your own problems with transfer on to your children make him see that it really hurts you, offer to go to some clubs or classes where you can both meet new people and work on your self esteam let him see how sexy you still are!

You should give him another chance ok.
You should learn to trust him, he might be texting his work. Just dont question him. If he cheats on you again, talk to him and suggest an idea.
Its rather you or the kids, or him and his cheating partner. Maybe you might want to throw him out- remeber this is for your kids sake, not his.

the only thing that you can be sure of what will be will be unfortunatly no one can predict maybe ur being parnoid, maybe he is flirting and maybe u both could remind each other why you got together in the 1st place the trails of family life sometimes bog us down and its hard to see the wood for the trees just try being friends again good luck xxx

Hi.
It all sound a little odd to be honest. I’m not saying he has definatly cheated but you need to sit down and have a proper talk. If he says he is gonna stop all contacts with the girl give him a chance, if it happens again… well i think you may have your answer.x

hope i helped Nicola

talk to him darling

Being a mother, a partner and a lover are three of the most difficult things in the world, finding a balance isn’t easy. As a woman you get up in the morning your first thoughts are for your family as the day progresses you feel guilt for catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and sometimes resent that you havn’t had time to apply make up, tidy your hair or change the t shirt covered in lunch and baby puke. you can sometimes feel that the world around you is passing you by and no one cares how your day has gone or that your only piece of human contact has been the postman, Mother hood is something some women long for but some days they are screaming inside to have just 10 precious minutes of much needed me time. With young children especially you can feel isolated and you can feel your partner doesn’t understand because his life in your eyes hasn’t seemed to changed since he became a father, he still goes to work he still see’ s his friends every day he has normality. But was is normality really, I mean if we really wanted all of the same things we could have them in an ideal world babies would sleep through the night, you would have your hair washed and make up applied before the children even had breakfast, and each day you would be out amongst other people (human contact) isolation on a daily basis can give way to depression, leading to low self worth which then causes you to suspect others and allow certain situations which may not have bothered you before, infuriate you now. If you don’t talk about something that is annoying you it starts destroying you. Your partner talking via email or text to a girl at work, when he knows it upsets you is creating a situation for you where you feel unloved therefore you can’t trust him, his behaviour of continuing this correspondance knowing how you feel is inappropriate. He is firstly your partner, your lover, your friend. Perhaps talking to a trained counsellor to relay how both of you feel in this situation would be of great help. You may not realise this but your partner may feel this is a release for him talking to someone outside of your situation, unfortunately with how you are feeling at the moment him talking to another woman is not helping. Your partner may resent the fact that he may feel he doesn’t know how to help you, perhaps you have both forgotten how you both fell in love in the first place, perhaps if you are feeling brave enough you may want to arramge a babysitter and go out on a date, even if its just a walk into town and a bag of chips, something you could do as a couple outside of being parents. I hope you are both able to find time to sit and talk to each other open and honestly, to work day by day at getting things back on track, this situation with the girl at work may just be nothing, it could be just magnified by how you are feeling, if not you both need to evaluate what you want from this relationship and if you want to salvage somethimg to work on and move together into the future, take the kids out of the equation, don’t stay together and be miserable, it will only make your kids miserable. The kids need a happy future and this can happen even if they don’t have a mummy and daddy that live together, talking and honest communication is the key to your future grab it with both hands. Cherish each day, don’t think about what if’s, think about plans for the future. Good Luck, Be Happy.

I have seen so many of my friends live in relationships which involve this tug of war, and to be frank: it never ends. Although all advise above is nice, the underlining issue here (to my ears) is a lack of respect (and honesty). You’ve given birth to your kids and he thinks what? you’ve gone a bit boring? I am sorry – I don’t care how much guys have a side that needs light flirtations: this is walking over the one person who is doing all for you jointly. NOT OK.

But I agree: don’t nag. It never works. What I would do?
Sit down (or write) a statement on it to him. Make it calm, short, rational and, most importantly: final. One whiff of this continuing with this girl or anyone else, and that is it. And
follow that through. I know this is really really hard (my heart has been there…) but you can live in a relationship which is continously disrespectful, or do the great gamble of demanding and winning respect. There is no certainty of the outcome, but the option of being in a tug-of-war style relation… well, it is up to you to decide.

Meanwhile get your own facebook, chit chat to the world, start up your own life on the side. Actions that speak to him you are his equal will do far more than words. Believe your worth. Or perhaps better: believe his unworth.

put your foot down tell him you wont stand for it.. tell him you will leave him and he will not see his child if he doesn’t stop. you are worth far more than that man you can do better

He isnt being very Lloyal at all! If he trufully loves you, he will stop. And agree to be a happy family. But as i say to nearly everyone.. guys will be guys.. its just who they are!

He isn’t treating you the way he should, sounds like hes forgotten how special you are to him, a kick up the arse is needed, don’t use your children against him though, thats just disgusting and shameful, the children should never be involved or in the middle of an argument between their parents unless it IS to do with them lol.

Just confront him and tell him if he don’t stop or if you find out hes done it again, it’s over, end of everything.

x

hi there i think that you should open up to him and tell him the truth about how you feel and what it makes u feel like to know that he has lied to you because he didnt want to cause you hassle. the best thing to do is just to open up and express your feelings about the situation because it is putting a strain on you, your children and your relationship… just remember it is for the sake of your children that you sort it out…

good luck xx

if you have a close or even just a friend thats male and is maybe married or in a relationship then explain the situation and ask him what he would do if he was in your husbands position.

good luck with it.

firstly you ARE in the right!! your boyfriend is out of order. if its as innocent as he says then he shouldnt have a reason to lie to you about it! it doesnt seem to me as though something has already happened but it does seem as though it will if you dont sort it out soon! he is very inconsiderate of your feelings and what this could do to your family if it was to go any further! i would tell him your not happy with him talking to this girl every day, there is a difference between being friends and flirting. you need to explane to him that your feeling self conscious as it is after just having a baby and the fact that he is chatting up another girl no matter how innocent he may think it is, it still hurts your feelings and your starting to have trouble trusting him. your in a serious relationship and he needs to realise that this is not acceptable behaviour! ask him how he would feel if you were talking to another man everyday and esspecially at ridiculous times like midnight while you are in bed together!!! he is WRONG and needs to realise this, if he carries on tell him you wont be able to trust and this will eventually ruin your relationship! good luck sweetheart! i hope he realises before its to late! xx

All guys are different just as are all females. A guy behaves as of what he has learnt from his mother as he loves her. Its the comments she makes over issues, such as responses to stories he tells her, or what she tell him to teach when he grows up, or the non-tolerance she demands to stop, and the expectations of how he should behave. He then thinks of the same standards from her. He either sloppy with no standards with a new born and telling you insensitively he receives texts of porn, with probably other traits such as a liar, maybe physically violent, or a scornful type, dirty, or with high standards, and wouldnt do this or condone this from a partner. Birds of a feather means the guy hangs out with the same type. A sloppy person continues to be a smoker, high standards gives it up, and they are strong people. His behaviour is abusive, adultery, hidden, insensitive and emotional abuse, so basically he’s a slob and he is that way because mum didnt show him to care for anyone else. Because of this the family courts are filled, and when they are in their 80’s they go to parlours looking for 16 year olds. Why even like him?

If his mother found out, how would she react. Would she tore shreds out of him, or if you told her, since she has to do with the welfare of the child, would you feel uncomfortable, and would she not give a damn about you really. Men are not to be blamed, they get so much.They are all different. It is the family and really a male is conditioned, and the one person he loves is mum. So if anything blame the women. He sees what she puts up with with dad or men, what types also. And usually she has a poor level of education. Its zero tolerance to violence, zero tolerance to that. And theres plenty out there who are safe to be with.

Rain suggests its only a big deal because of women issues. That the male can receive texts infront of a wife and tell her it contains porn, probably later discovering its a women, porn where sex is obviously happening or about to happen. Behaviours such as this can cause delinquency in children. His wife has stayed with him. Every female giving advice is so soft, even talking to him. And a high vote to stay. Prediction is, by both sexes allowing it, it will continue to occur. Does this rain, mean the woman can do it and its a big deal because you have testostorone. Go for a jog. I know, how about both partners doing it and sitting in the lounge in front of the kid and receiving txts and calls. Maybe the kid will pick up the phone. But rain suggests its only a male thing and speaks to all males. Well males who feel that way according to the medical practice have psychological problems, so he is wrong. But getting a hell of a good life at the expense of others.

Well, I am going to give a revolutionary opinion on this topic:
I am assuming you two love each other-after all, you got married and had two kids. This shows there is love and a deep comittment there somewhere. Take this love and comittment seriously. This is what you need to remember I believe, and that will help your husband and yourself navigate difficult times like these. Any long-term committed close relationship is difficult. Changing (or leaving) partners often seem tempting to avoid problems but it doesn’t solve them.

So basically, what should guide your behaviour towards him and towards this current issue is that you are committed and there is no way you are giving up this marriage because committment and love are, precisely, committment and love and you take that very seriously. Act like that. In everything you do or say, talk and behave thinking you are in this marriage, this family, you take it seriously and treat your husband with respect AND you DEMAND and just ExpECT THE SAME THING from him. But don’t say “either you behave or I divorce”, that leads nowhere. By your behaviour and the things you say, always show you are committed and divorce is not an option, so both of you HAVE to work it out. You are a team! If one is misbehaving and being careless, it is the other’s duty to keep the team going and also say “hey, we are in this together, what’s wrong, where are you?”-and maybe be a bit patient, too. The right mix of being patient and demanding respect.

I mean… how do people who remain married for years and years and decades manage? They are tolerant and committed, I guess… At the moment, the problem you have is that your husband and yourself are going through different “phases” -you adjusting to motherhood and all that and him adjusting to your going through this motherhood process. At the moment, both of you need special attention and consideration from the other -you want attention and support from your husband, being a young mum who also needs to feel attractive as a woman (I am just guessing, I am not a mum, so I can’t speak from experience there). And your husband probably has complicated feelings -maybe he feels you are too busy with motherhood and wants more attention for himself, adjusting to fatherhood and feeling the weight of responsibility… Just guessing. I mean, the birth of a child is an event that changes everything in the universe of the couple, of course it is a time where man and woman are affected by it in different ways, it’s not simple to find a balance… In fact, it is quite normal you are having difficulties, I even dare say…

As far as specifically this flirting thing with this girl is concerned: well, I guess at the moment, having just had a baby two months ago, you feel outraged or/and sad because you feel he is flirting with someone exactly when he should do the opposite-not flirt with anyone, pay extra attention to you and show he is responsible towards you and the kids. And he does the exact opposite because himself he feels he is not getting the sort of attention he needs, he just wants to go out there and feel like he is a young and carefree bachelor or something…

Both of you are just expressing different emotional needs as a reaction to the birth of your baby -you want your husband at home with you making you feel safe and wanted and your husband wants to be out there seeking easy confirmation of his male sexiness. He finds it difficult to give you the reassuring feelings you want because he feels like his own emotional needs are not being met. All this is quite natural I would say… the trick is: when you have different emotional needs (like what is happening now), realise this is normal, be solidary and patient: YOU ARE A TEAM!!
This you both need to learn (it is hard-sounds like right now he doesn’t want to realise he is in a team with you, he wants to go selfishly show off his biceps or whatever to some girl who will demand nothing-easy!).
Try to be strong -and also make it clear to him what is not ok -you are a bit cool and tolerant because you are in a team with him but you won’t let him walk all over you, he can’t do that to you because you are a member of his team!!! Also: I’d say, trust your feelings and act on them. If this flirting thing feels wrong to you, the chances are you are not crazy. It doesn’t necessarily mean he is having an affair or ever had an affair with the girl. But when you get this funny feeling in your stomach that something is wrong, it probably is- you know him well, you pick up his tone of voice, his general behaviour, details, how close or far you feel he is from you, you notice and deep down you know when something is wrong. If you feel like it is too much flirt he does with this girl, stand for that – you are a member of this team (your husband and you), you have to stand for your feelings and make them heard by the other team member-demand that respect!! Maybe now this phase will be difficult, but don’t despair, it is quite normal to have difficult times where partners need to adjust to changing circumstances in life … you will both learn from it and become a better team, believe it and go for it!!

Ok, that was my 2 cents on that topic!! Hope no one fell asleep…
take care

Hi. I think whoever this guy is isnt exactly being a responsible person right now. Just giving birth to a baby and hes too busy texting someone else?! I think you really need to get him to sit down and get some one on one talking time and tell him exactly how you feel. Remind him he has two kids too help you look after and he is a dad, you dont want your children to see him talking to another woman in that way do you, otherwise they’ll think it’s ok. He wouldnt want you flirting with another man, so why let him away with flirting also?!

If I Was You…Id wait till hes at work with his lil whore on the side..take all his clothes and valubles and dump them out front and cover them in petrol and light then watch the look on his dirty cheating face!!!

Of course guys feel no fear of sleeping around. The girls always have a little chat and, take them back. And like rats they do it from generation to generation. Infact sexist language comes with it, the stud and the slut. The cleaning wench and this is real mans work. There are things he can do and things she cant do where he does it. And it all exists because she accepts poor treatment.