I have a problem, i am nearly 23 and still have feelings for a guy who i met at the age of 17 well naturally i thought stupidly that i would probably marry him one day etc, he was the one who made a move on me and we had a few flings after never actually ever had sex and now hes in canada with his new girlfriend who hes enagaged to.
He allways gives me a look everytime i see him which does my head in cause i am trying to get over him and makes it worse that his family live just not that far from my parents house. I really would like to get over him but i can’t ive tried everything well kind of but i still can’t stop thinking about him everyday and its doing my head in cause its so painful sometimes and sometimes i don’t feel like doing anything like working etc i dont know what to do cause i can’t exactly tell him, plus he would probably be creeped out by it.
Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
Okay basically my boyfriend of five months split up with me because we were going through a rough patch and he didnt see the point in us continuing anymore as it was so complicated. I was absolutely devastated as I loved and still love him with my entire self. On the Friday night I got wasted and started crying to this random woman I’d just met about him ending it with me and she said to get over him you need to get under someone else. I don’t know why the hell I thought it was good advice but I did. I ended up going home with this guy… I regret it more than anything in my entire life.
I HATE myself for what I’ve done. I’d do anything to take it back! My Ex found out and went mental. He was in so much pain… his eyes… God, I wanted to rip my heart out. He hated me. A few days after it happened, we went for a walk together and I explained myself as best as I could and he told me how he was feeling. The day after he came round and was hugging me and cuddling me. He told me about
how he’d forgiven me, he didnt want me to hate myself anymore and that he still loved me and he wants us to be friends. For the following days, he kept coming round and cuddling me and hugging me. We’ve even kissed and told each other we love each other and everything! I asked him if we were going to get back together and he said No, he could never trust me again after what I did. But he’s still coming round to see me and we’re still hugging and kissing! He even came round this morning and we held each other for ages… we even got a bit sexual but he didnt want to actually have sex… we just did other things.
So after all this… and he still doesnt want to get back with me. He says he’s never felt about anyone else this way and that I mean the world to him. I love him, I need him back, I feel empty without him. Please can someone tell me what to do?! I need to know how to get a guys trust back? How can I get him back!?
Thank you…x
Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
Hi Agony Aunt, I am 41 yrs old and single. I have been friends/lovers with a gentleman of 60 for just over a year.
However he has a complicated life, he has an ex wife whom he still I believe has a relationship with, he has 2 children with her, who are grown up now. I recently got a very well paid new job, with company car etc. I have offered to take us away for a weekend, because we havent seen each other properly since last december.
He has agreed to meet up, and seems very enthusiastic at the moment, however I was quite annoyed today, when he dropped out of the blue that he has just purchased a brand new top of the range car, but hasnt offered anything towards the weekend !
Im starting to get quite bad vibes, and am wondering if Im doing the right thing ?
Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
Ok so, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and I love him so much, more than anything else in my life. However I feel as though things started doing downhill in our relationship a long time ago (maybe 18 months ago). We fight every single day, he never compliments me, always ‘jokingly’ criticises me and most of the time imp really down, but on that odd occasion he does compliment me I feel great, and there’s no problem.
But a year ago i met a new group of friends, one of them being a guy i instantly clicked with, i found him attractive, confident, funny, caring, everything i look for in a guy….and so slowly over the next couple of months we became friends and we both started hearing rumours from everyone else in our group of friends that we liked each other, so we both played on this and there was some HARMLESS flirting. But then after another month or so he tried to kiss me (knowing i was in a long term relationship) and with much dismay i pulled away. However this happened regularly for another month or so, him attempting to kiss me but me pulling away. After this time he decided to give up, i missed him when this happened, so when after a couple of weeks he decided to try to kiss me again.. i gave in.
Now over the last 6 months or so ive been sneakingly meeting this guy for cuddles & kisses (nothing more). He made me really happy and was so different to my boyfriend, i loved being around him. Another problem was that i lust over this boy a huuuuuuuuuuge amount and hardly feel any sexual attraction to my boyfriend anymore (and we have a very poor sex life- all because of me).
Anyway…a month ago, the guilt took over me and i told my boyfriend everything, promising to loose all contact with the other guy, and my boyfriend said hed try and forgive me so were giving everything a second shot. Now i told the other guy that i wanted to stop contact with him, he became really down and for the last month has tried talking to me on several occasions, i try to ignore him but sometimes cant as i miss him a huge amount. And recently ive found out he likes another girl (i was told this by a mutual friend) so a few days ago i agreed to see him so i could give him back some stuff of his i found and we spoke for hours about everything and for the 1st time since we stopped talking a months ago i was so happy, and he told me yes he had started to like another girl but his feelings are still too strong for me for him to move on yet.
And now, for the last month or so ive been stupidly depressed thinking about him CONSTANTLY, i can only sleep for about 3 or 4 hours a night and can hardly eat, im always crying and wanting to harm myself.
I feel so guilty after everything ive done to my boyfriend as i love him so much, but i just love this other guy too and im stuck. I have to lose one of them in this situation.
Please help.
Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
I’ve been with my boyfriend for around 18 months now. I never thought I’d meet someone who made me as happy as he did and we made such a great couple with so much in common. We moved in together a few months ago (I moved a few hundred miles to be with him) and I have been under a lot of pressure with my job since we have lived together. Last week he told me that he has felt differently since we had a huge argument last months. I was devastated as he did not share this with me. He said my mood swings were unbearable and he felt like I was a different person. He said that he still loves me and we are trying to work things out. I am due to start a new job which will take a lot of pressure off me and I think that things would have improved drastically anyway but since we had our talk I have been making much more of an effort to not snap at him or cause arguments.
The problem is that even though he is talking about the future and keeps saying that he feels as though he has got his old girlfriend back, I still feel uneasy. I cry every day and have horrible dreams every night about our relationship ending. I feel tortured. I am paranoid all the time if he doesn’t answer when I call him and think he is going to finish our relationship every night when I get home. Although he is saying the right words I just have a bad gut feeling. My feelings may be right but I may also be paranoid. The fact he has felt differently and I did not pick up on it makes me feel like I’ve had the carpet pulled from under my feet. I just feel so low and don’t know what to say or do. I am too scared to talk to him about it because he indicates that everything is back to normal between us but I don’t fell normal. I feel like our relationship has shifted and I don’t know if it can go back!
Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
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