My girlfriend (who i eventually plan to marry) had been having sex frequently
(oral and intercourse) since the age of 18 with her ex. She has even told me of
the ways, times and how they used to make love and play with each other. I
wanted my first time to be with the special person. I held off all temptations
until I met her.
But now that I know of her past sex life, I feel as though my sacrifice is
worthless. This is really bothering me. And that fact that I haven’t
experienced with other people compounds the agony. I sometimes get turned off when we have sex since thoughts of her previous experiences creeps in and I feel disgusted with her. Recently, I’ve been getting these thoughts even when we
are not having sex.
I have even gone to the extend of cheating on her, but I wound not forgive
myself if I did. I am not someone who would cheat on her. We are also very open and truthful, but I think I will be really hurt her when I talk about this. We
currently have a healthy relationship, which might be be hurt due to such
disturbing thoughts.
Your thoughts on how to approach and overcome this situation will be of
immense help.
Your advice is much appreciated. Thank you.
Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
ive been with my boyfriend over 15 months. in the last two months ive tried
breaking up with him twice but he just cries and begs me not to leave him. the
thing is i feel like im not allowed to do anything without him but hes allowed
to do what he wants without me.
everyone says that i wear the trousers in the relationship which i do to some extent but when it comes to my life he overalls.
ive even started txing other blokes and thought about cheating and that is
really something that i would never dream of doing.. but its getting that bad
that i jst dont no what to do anymore..
if i break up with him i no that i wont like it cos i wont want him to be with anybody else but i really need some space and he just doesnt understand.. what can i do?
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Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
I need help! About a month ago my boyfriend (of 6 years and 2 children) got a text about 12 at night while we were in bed. When I questioned who would be texting him this late he showed me a text and said oh its work. Which is
plausible in his line of work. However, when I looked at time and date the text was sent it showed this wasn’t the text he had received. So I asked him again and he said it was a junk text asking if he wanted to see porn. To cut a long story short, he eventually admitted it was a girl who he used worked with. He said that she often texts him, but he never texts back and didn’t tell me it was her straight off because he didn’t want it to cause hassle!
So this was worked through and I thought it was all fine, until a couple of
days ago I saw a conversation between them on facebook and as far as I am
concerned it was blatant flirting! I confronted him and asked why it was ok to talk on facebook with this girl but not by text and he said that it’s because
facebook is less personal. I then find out the next day that he IS texting this
girl and has been nearly every day for the last 2 weeks at least. When I
confronted him about this he has said well it’s because I don’t really have
any friends to talk to and it was just someone to have a natter with! Let me
just make it clear I don’t stop him seeing his friends, before this I trusted
him completely, now I can’t help but think he’s done something with this
girl. The most annoying thing is that this girl has text him before and I
didn’t have a problem then, so why was this text different?
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The answers he gives to my questions are stupid and not logical which just
makes me think even more that he is hiding something. I have very low
self-esteem not least because I gave birth 2 months ago and I can’t help but
hate him for doing this to me! I don’t know what to do! He has said he will
cut off all contact with this girl, but how do I know he will? I can’t trust
him, I don’t know what to do?
Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
I’ve been friends with this guy for about two months, I’ve liked him a lot since
I met him but I refused to say anything as he has a girlfriend. We’ve been
flirting a lot and the other day he told me that he also likes me, I also told
him that I liked him but he has a girlfriend so nothing can happen.
He ask me to kiss him which I’m almost ashamed to say that I did, then left. After he sent me a text saying that he was sorry if he made everything weird between us but he couldn’t hide how he felt and he didn’t want to jepordise our friendship but had to tell me. I replied that it hadn’t made anything weird and that we could still be friends. Since then we’ve spent a lot of time together revising for exams and talking getting to know each other better. I’ve made it clear where I stand with the fact he has a girlfriend.
He’s told me that things haven’t been going well with his girlfriend and that
he’s just trying to find a way to break up with her without hurting her too
badly and that he doesn’t want to mess me about.
I’ve asked my friends what I should do and they say to stay clear of him as
he’s either using me as a replacement for his girlfriend who’s at a different
university, or that I can’t trust him as he’s cheating on her and could do that
to me in the future. I understand what they’re getting at but he has been
nothing but honest with me since I met him and I trust him.
I feel really wrong and guilty about him having a girlfriend, but I don’t know
what to do as I don’t want to push him away. How should I handle this????
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Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
Ive been in a relationship for over 2 years now but I dont feel the same as i did towards her anymore. Little things are annoying me and Im just not happy. We are looking to move in together which I really dont want to do because I know it will be a nightmare. Im not sure whether to ride it out or end it. I dont want to hurt her.
I used to have commitment issues and we have split over these before. We got back together because I really did love her but its less than a year since that and now Im doubting whether I want a future with her. She will think its a commitment ‘thing’ again but it isnt.
Any advice would be great.
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Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
Me and my fiance have been driving for a baby for a couple of months hes had 2 kids previously, ive never had kids as im quite young.
My fiance used to do drugs but stopped taking them about 3 months ago. I don’t know wether its me or him who can’t have kids? Please help what should I do? I just want a baby to make mine and my fiance’s life complete.
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Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
Please help – i don’t know what to do.
I was with my boyfriend for 7 years and we split up abput 2 years ago. In that time we both met other people. However, we have always kept in touch and he has always been my rock and for the last few months we have become close again and decided to take things slow and give it another go. About 2 weeks ago he decided to meet with his ex to tell her and to ask her not to contact him anymore. 4 days later she calls and tells him she is 2 1/2 mths pregnant. She wants to keep the baby, and he has told her he will support her as much as he can.
What do i do? i love him so much, but when i imagine him being a father its to my child – not someone elses. He also seems so worried of saying anything to stress her out in case she turns on him and refuses to let him see the child when he/she is born.
i don’t want to be selfish in this and know he has a lot on his plate – but i don’t know where i fit in all this. we haven’t even really made ‘us’ official again and i know his family will probably rather he made a go of it with his ex. But i am worried the jealousy and insecurity will kill me – what/where am i to be when she gives birth? what if she uses the baby to constantly be in touch? and my biggest fear, what if i prepare to turn my life upside down and support him and he goes back to her?
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Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
I was 15 when I met my ex, 16 when we split up.
I’m now 23 and I still think about him daily. I dont know what is going on with his life, I havent seen him
for about a year or more. I would like to contact him but have no address other than his mother’s, and I know he doesnt live at home anymore.
Should I contact him and tell him I still think about him and maybe still love him or should I leave him be? Maybe he still thinks about me? I was stupid to let him go and I broke his heart, I was young and didnt understand love and relationships. Now I know he was the one for me, but do I contact him and risk upsetting him or myself?
Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
im 22 and and currently a single parent, i haven’t had much luck in my past relationships as they have usually turned out abusive.
I split from my ex in march but i have strong feelings for him still and keep getting him back involved in my life after we go a couple of months without speaking, he tells me he wont treat me like before and i really believe him. I am confused, i love this person but i don’t know if i really do want to do get back with him, but i cant bare the fact he might move on.
Not only that i was texting one if his best friends and we almost did something we may have regretted, this person has also declared their love for me and now i feel trapped between them both and scared that if i did get back with my ex his friend might tell him or may have told someone else and this will surely take him back to his old ways and destroy his trust he thinks he has in me, although this was a serious issue within our relationship the first time around, even though there was no reason.
The whole relationship with my ex has been complicated from the start, as he has his own children from a previous relationship, this was an issue for me because i found out they had been texting each other and heard rumors that they had slept together whilst he was with me, also his family dislike for other reasons, how can i decide what to do?
ive been hurt and i dont want to get hurt again but i yet i still think about my ex and seriously considering to agree to be in a relationship with my ex, the only thing stopping me is the fling i had with his friend, and i dont want to hurt him either…please help.
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Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years and have cheated on him several times. I recently met someone else who I was seeing for just over a month but decided that I wanted to make things work with my boyfriend so finished it but now I can’t stop thinking about the other guy and want to get back in touch with him.
I feel that maybe my boyfriend isn’t the one as I’ve cheated on him so much but feel he would give me security for the future. I’m so confused and don’t know what to do, please help.
Filed under Relationship Advice by Agony Aunt
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