I am a student from the South of England. I am currently dating a simply marvellous girl named A***, who is 21 years old, and we’ve been going out for a little over 6 months now.

I have Adult ADHD and severe anxiety, and also get quite depressed, but A**** is very understanding and a great source of comfort, help and support for me and to me. She’s worth about 10 times any other girl at this university, and I also think she’s very beautiful. She’s a great listener, she’s naturally patient and kind, and I never have to worry that she might cheat, even though I got jealous in my only other relationship.

We met in church, where I was the church organist, I will admit attending mainly to earn the money more than anything else, whilst she was avidly praying etc. She, to her credit, did say quite clearly when I asked her out that she was opposed to sex before marriage. Despite kind of knowing that this would be problematic for me, I began to date her anyway (my only other, very experienced and older, girlfriend, with whom I had a sexual relationship, commented on what she perceived to be the unusual ferocity of my sex drive, even for a young man.)

My levels of frustration have now reached such a stage that I cannot think of very much else and have times when I feel resentful towards her for not moving to meet my needs. I was brought up religiously myself, and I remember being a vocal opponent of drinking alcohol, as my denomination had instilled into me. However, when I was 15, someone offered me a drink, I liked it, and my opposition melted away.

I took hers no-sex thing with a pinch of salt because I thought that it was something that was easy to say when no man had ever taken interest in her before, but that it would melt away naturally, given maturity and time. But it seems I was mistaken, and that she really meant it. I don’t think I could ever be cruel enough to dump a girl for not giving me sex, but also this is starting to make me feel unhappy, and we tell each other we love each other. I really don’t know what to do or which way to turn, I don’t see why my needs should come second to her pleasing an unprovable Deity, and hilwst I truly have tried very very hard not to pressure her, I don’t know how long pure altruism can hold out here.

This is the situtation:
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. I am 20 and he is 23. We were engaged to be married however I recently looked at his mobile phone and saw explicit picture messages that he was sending to a girl in his work. (Who by the way was our wedding co-ordinator.)

I always had my doubts about this girl and by finding these messages I definitely know why. Things weren’t the best with myself and my boyfriend. We both worked very hard and I was very unhappy with my job. At that point in time, I wasn’t showing him much affection. Apparently this girl “Louise” was going through similar problems with her boyfriend.

So they both got talking in work and flirting with each other. One thing led to another and he asked for her number and they had been messaging each other for 2 weeks. When I found the messages, I was heart broken, I was shaking with so much anger. How could he do this to me? Especially with our wedding co-ordinator.

I made him tell the owners of his work (the wedding venue also) that we were cancelling the wedding and the real reason why we broke up. I gave him my ring back, and was very calm about the whole situation, even though I was hurting so bad inside. He assures we nothing else went on with this girl Louise, that it was only text messages.

I am now living back with my Mum and he is living in another flat at the moment. Living without him has made me realise how much I love him… and how much he loves me. I cannot live my life being apart from him. It hurts too much. I have decided to give him one last chance as he has assured me I know the truth now and there is no more secrets to hide. He said he will never do it again and I believe him.

So we are now back together although we are living apart, and things are great. The passion is back there and we have booked a holiday together in July. So that gives us something to look forward to.

This is the question I want to ask… I have always been ready for a baby… Imnot the kind of girl that goes out and parties… I just can’t wait til the time when I settle down and have a lovely house and children…(guess I’m quite old
fashioned that way) He has now said that he is ready.. He wants me to be his fiancee again, he wants a flat together again and he wants a baby. I want all that too.

We have worked it out that by October this year, he will have all his debt cleared and we can start a fresh which means we will have a bit more cash. What advice can you give me? I want this so bad, but scared what people might
think and I’m not sure how money will work out?

I need to write if it doesnt go through i wont care just need to get it out of my head. I met the guy four days ago, i invited him to come sit in the shade with me n my little girl, ( kids go to daycare together,)no intentions where made on either part. he agreed , we introduced ourselves, and had a great relaxing day at the beach, second day samething at the beach, we talk more and went canoeing around the lake.

Next day he had the day off , he lives close i happen to be on the road and he drives up. says hi, i wasnt honset with you, i have a gf we have a baby together, i dont know if shes mine or not, i have a feeling thats shes not. right from the get go he thought it was his friends. and resembles him, then he said theres 10 yrs diff and shes french , hard to understand. I thought ok he has a gf ,im ok with that lets just be freinds.our kids get along so well..then he says hed like to come hang out for the after noon, (gf in quebec with baby grl for a few weeks).

Isaid sure he brought over some coronas and a dube. we smoked and had a few drinks. we laid up on my roof, we talked and talked and have so mch in comon. He kept giving me compliments, and said he wishes he wasnt in a relationship. I was just frustrated, with the whole thing. cause i like him also but im 9 yr older and just know better.. i know how the gf feels ,just having a baby and probably not sexual, and young still.. me im in my prime and very sexual..

I could easily take this man and make mad love to him , but i cannot ,as i have respect for his gf and there bb.. NOw hes got me picking up and dropping off his son at daycare cause the gf doesnt drive, shee would have to bundle up baby adn take a cab to get him there, wont just keep him home with her????? i dont really get that part..but he says shes a new mom and is not comfortable with little buddy there..hes adorable ,, so dad drops him off at 630 am, in my bed.

little buddy cuddles with me as we slowly wake, I have unbeleiveable fantasies with him and its going to to be so hard seeing him in the mornings, as im very sexual in the morning exspecially. I get up walk him to the door in my low cut sexy nighty. i could feel him staring at me,wanting me, i said GO get out of here, lord lead me not into temptation… he laughs and leaves..i see wild sexual affair. but refuse to share, ill have to back out, cause its just not fair……….im cheating myself.. but like him too much..my heart on my sleeve, but as much as i want to seduce him, i cant guilt will engulf me.. thanks for letting me write i have to get these guys to daycare..losrd give me strength in this……..his gf will be back in a week.his or not, she is still living with him.

we are always bumping heads over everything, we can never agree on the same things, we are always stck in the house together its like he does not want me t have any friends and he does not want to get a job he always has an exuse for everything. hes to comfortable with me and takes me for granted he thinks he can say anything he wants to me and boss me around he always tries to control everthing i trys to control my situation telling me how much i can spend on things with my own money. then when i try to break up with him he just crys and tells me we are happy, speaking for me and all i tell him everyday that im not happy im not even in love with him no more. i just want to beable to control my own situation and have him respect me and my decisions and not make me feel like i cant do anything everytime i tell him i think i would be good at something he always doudts me I HATE THIS!!! i feel soo trapped im soo depressed, i do love him in the sense tht i dont want anyone to be with himafter me. i wish he had been a little more mature so that he could have talk to me about things and understand that we have problems that he should not just dismiss all the time…:(

I’ve recently got to know this man who is 6 years my senior, I’ve only met him
twice but we really feel as if we can trust each other, we stayed up to 5am
talking and I told him things I wouldn’t normally tell new friends.

He told me a lot of private things too.  The next night we watched a film, he had his arm round me and linked his fingers with mine, then when I went to bed he sat by me and stroked my hair.

The only thing is he has a girlfriend who he seems to really care about, he might think of it all innocently.  He hasn’t seen his girlfriend in a few months as she lives abroad so he might be inadvertently getting close to me because he misses her? I don’t know what to think, I’m so confused.

My girlfriend (who i eventually plan to marry) had been having sex frequently
(oral and intercourse) since the age of 18 with her ex. She has even told me of
the ways, times and how they used to make love and play with each other. I
wanted my first time to be with the special person. I held off all temptations
until I met her.

But now that I know of her past sex life, I feel as though my sacrifice is
worthless. This is really bothering me. And that fact that I haven’t
experienced with other people compounds the agony. I sometimes get turned off when we have sex since thoughts of her previous experiences creeps in and I feel disgusted with her. Recently, I’ve been getting these thoughts even when we
are not having sex.

I have even gone to the extend of cheating on her, but I wound not forgive
myself if I did. I am not someone who would cheat on her. We are also very open and truthful, but I think I will be really hurt her when I talk about this. We
currently have a healthy relationship, which might be be hurt due to such
disturbing thoughts.

Your thoughts on how to approach and overcome this situation will be of
immense help.

Your advice is much appreciated. Thank you.

I need help! About a month ago my boyfriend (of 6 years and 2 children) got a text about 12 at night while we were in bed.  When I questioned who would be texting him this late he showed me a text and said oh its work.  Which is
plausible in his line of work.  However, when I looked at time and date the text was sent it showed this wasn’t the text he had received.  So I asked him again and he said it was a junk text asking if he wanted to see porn.   To cut a long story short, he eventually admitted it was a girl who he used worked with.  He said that she often texts him, but he never texts back and didn’t tell me it was her straight off because he didn’t want it to cause hassle!

So this was worked through and I thought it was all fine, until a couple of
days ago I saw a conversation between them on facebook and as far as I am
concerned it was blatant flirting!  I confronted him and asked why it was ok to talk on facebook with this girl but not by text and he said that it’s because
facebook is less personal.  I then find out the next day that he IS texting this
girl and has been nearly every day for the last 2 weeks at least.  When I
confronted him about this he has said well it’s because I don’t really have
any friends to talk to and it was just someone to have a natter with! Let me
just make it clear I don’t stop him seeing his friends, before this I trusted
him completely, now I can’t help but think he’s done something with this
girl.  The most annoying thing is that this girl has text him before and I
didn’t have a problem then, so why was this text different?

[nms:black boots,4,0,0,5336146745]

The answers he gives to my questions are stupid and not logical which just
makes me think even more that he is hiding something.  I have very low
self-esteem not least because I gave birth 2 months ago and I can’t help but
hate him for doing this to me!  I don’t know what to do!  He has said he will
cut off all contact with this girl, but how do I know he will?  I can’t trust
him, I don’t know what to do?