I have been married for 22 years in total, we have a son together who is now nearly 18.The relationship was always quite turbulant and we attended Relate on three seperate ocassions. 8 years ago we split, although have always keeped in touch mainly because of our son. In this time apart we seemed to get on better and I asked on at least 7/8 different ocassions for us to get back together and give things another try, each time I was rejected.
Recently I unexpectedly got an Email from an ex girlfriend and started a relationship with her and become very fond of her, we have slept together and still have lots in common and she has been really good for me. I thought it best to explain this relationship to my wife and when I did she broke down and declared her undying Love for me.
She says she wants me back and will do anything to save our relationship, she can’t bear to think of me with someone else and she and our son need me there. She also said that she had a 9 month relationship
5years ago when we had been apart for around 3 years but finished it when he wanted her to commit and she said she couldn’t because she still Loved me, but didn’t tell me that.
I’m having trouble with the fact that she has said nothing for 8 years untill the night I say I’m seeing someone else and then decides to tell me she has felt this way for at least 5 years. It doesn’t ring true to me, although she is trying really hard to show her affection I feel used and also a little angry and confused. it would be the easy option as she is still in our marital home and my son is still there too. My Ex is 130 miles away in a council house with a 14 year old daughter and a 10 year old son.I feel I have an obligation to my wife and son to give it another try but at the same time am not sure I can give 100% to her now as I feel something has been destroyed in the 8 years apart and I have really strong feelings for the girlfriend from my past.
Filed under Marriage Advice by Agony Aunt
I got divorced after 7 years, 15 years in total of being with my x husband. He put me and my now partner through hell. He dragged both of us through the courts for which we nearly split up over. Even so, we moved house and worked at getting though the problems left behind us.
I have been with my partner for 9 years, engaged for 4 and have made arrangements to get married on Dec this year. Occasionally through our relationship my partner will have a “paddy” do something and blame it on me and stop talking to me for a few days, last time he had a paddy over me telling him that I was fed up with his strops. He moved into the spare room and didn’t talk to me for a week. I ended up making the first move to fix things.
On Sunday of this week he asked me a silly question and I said it was a silly question and he replied well then, you do it on your own and walked off. I left him for an hour or so to cool of, but was greeted by two other friends who said that he was to be avoided as he was in foul mood shouting at the dog and throwing stuff around!. I went and found him and asked if he was ok as two friends had heard his shouting and wondered if all was well, he called a liar and said that he has only spoken to one person about his feelings and I asked him to come inside and talk he refused. I told him firmly that he has started this argument and I had come back and tried to put it to bed and he was refusing and that he should grow up and forget whatever it was that he had done, he shouted at me and said that it was not what he had done but what I had done. Again I asked him to come inside – he refused. When he went inside I followed him, closed he door and stood infront of it and told him that I was not going to move until he spoke to me he just ignored me and I carried on telling him I was fed up that he took every thing out on me, his problems at work, me being made redundant and the frustrations and loosing a competition and that he needed to grow up fast. He threatened me that if I thought that in the past he made me hurt he would make me hurt even more this time as it will be more than a week he doesn’t talk to me for. And he hasn’t spoken to me since Sunday afternoon, he has started to sleep on the sofa and quite honestly I am torn. I want to leave him but I love him. I feel that he has no respect for me, constantly tells me I am a liar and feel as though he has no respect for me. I don’t know what to do.. please help
Filed under Marriage Advice by Agony Aunt
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